


God Forgive Me

by JaketheSnake69



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Nazi Germany, Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Forced Orgasm, Homophobia, M/M, More tags later, Nazis, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:42:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23534755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaketheSnake69/pseuds/JaketheSnake69
Summary: This is not for the faint of heart, you’ve been warned!
Relationships: Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), North Italy/Prussia (Hetalia)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for this chapter: homophobia, elements of rape, violence 
> 
> Let me know if I should continue this story! :)

Before the war Germany was a beautiful country, that’s why Feliciano moved there at age 16 thinking it would be a great new start to his life as an artist. There was way too much competition in Naples to the point where it was hard to even sell anything but now being in Hamburg it was actually possible to make a living. Until the year 33’ everything started to go downhill, Feliciano began to notice neighbors disappearing people staying in their homes more often, military men showing up more and more as the months went by and it was terrifying to see. No one knew what was going on but it was better to stay out of it, not even the neighbors could tell Feliciano anything. Naturally he was a curious young man and would at least like to know what was going on with what used to be such a beautiful city. The Italian man wasn’t completely in the dark with all the news though he knew the new leader in power wasn’t the nicest of people but no one seemed to know the extent of it yet. 

It was the start of a new day and hopefully time for some answers. Feliciano sat on the porch of the little house he was able to purchase, taking small drinks of the coffee he just made as he waited for one of the military cars to do their rounds. After what seemed like an hour the car finally came into view and Feliciano smiled softly, making his way off his porch, waving over at the approaching vehicle. “Ciao, how are you gentlemen this morning?” Feli spoke with his usually bright tone, staring at the two men sitting in the car and he couldn’t help but begin to feel nervous as they didn’t return a smile. “Mr Vargas correct? We’ve spoken to every resident on this block except you, may we come in?” The man speaking was actually quite attractive with blonde slicked back hair with a military cap over it and bright blue eyes, basically the average German man but he was handsome nonetheless. The other man seemed to be a little shorter than the first, his hair paler as well with bright red eyes and for some reason he seemed to make Feliciano more nervous then the other. He wasn’t as intimidating but the mans eyes screamed murder and it wasn’t something Feli wanted inside his home. “S-Si of course come in! Would you two like anything to drink? I have tea, coffee, and water” He smiled as he led the two other men into his home hesitantly, he couldn’t help but wonder why they needed to come in anyways it felt like a huge violation of the law. 

“So what brings you gentleman in? I was going to ask you earlier what was going on around here, it’s making everyone a little frightened…” Feliciano smiled as he took a seat on the couch watching as the taller man stayed in the room with him while the other started looking around the house in different rooms. “You will not ask questions. You came from Italy ja? What business do you have here?” The man's eyes stayed directly focused on the red head which made Feli grow even more uneasy and he shrunk back into the seat, “I-I’m a artist sir, there’s less competition in Germany so I moved… a-am I getting arrested for some—“ “Ich said no questions.” Looking closer at his name tag Feliciano was able to make out that the man was named Ludwig. “Yes sir.” 

“Ludwig, you’ll want to see this.” Feliciano stared towards the other room wondering what the hell was happening, his anxiety raising each second of them being there, but to keep from being yelled at he continued to stay quiet like Ludwig told him. Soon after the other man walked back towards the other two, having a picture in hand as he handed it off to the taller blond. It took a minute for Feliciano to realize what the picture was until he noticed the disgusted glances Ludwig made towards him then back to the picture while the other man just snickered. It was of him and his boyfriend kissing back in Italy… the young man knew that being homosexual was very frowned upon and even illegal in most cases. There was no doubt he was going to jail. “T-That’s a private matter sir, please” This time Feliciano stood up snatching the photo away from the man though as soon as he did Ludwig grabbed his arm in a tight grip. “Told ya the kid was a faggot, he probably gets fucked by all then men in the town. You’re going to be popular at the camp pretty boy” the white haired man took a few steps closer until he was inches away from Feliciano who was now shaking like a leaf, mortified by the words coming from his mouth, “o-oh god no I would never please—“ “Gilbert stop it.” Ludwig glared, taking out a pair of handcuffs, quickly moving them to click around Feliciano's wrists, then teenager letting it happen too scared to fight knowing it would be a losing battle. “Oh come on you need to learn how to have fun Luddy… hey how about we take the little thing to the house and play with him before we take him in?” The words made Feliciano immediately stiffen up, his eyes widening in fear, “per favore no, I-I—“ he began to speak before getting cut off again by the larger man, “Shut up!” Ludwig glared down at the teen before returning his glance over towards the other, “Nein, we must follow orders.” He began pushing the younger out of the house towards the car, Gilbert following right behind, “Who the hell follows orders anymore?! It’s basically do as you please by this point pull the stick out of your ass for once. You know you want to Luddy~ We can get drunk, fuck a cute little faggot then take him over tomorrow” 

Meanwhile the two men were conversating, Feliciano was shoved into the back of the car, trying to block out the horrific words coming from Gilbert’s mouth. He didn’t want to believe that was a possibility… that he was going to be raped by two men he didn’t know then possibly killed or taken to jail. The rest of the ride was eerily silent after Ludwig yelled at Gilbert about the whole scenario, the Italian just hoping he would be taken to the camp instead of their house. Feli snapped out of his thoughts hearing the shorter man's laugh again, freezing in place when he saw a house approaching in the distance, “see I knew you wanted to, you just don’t like admitting it!” ‘No no no no’ honestly Feliciano would rather take death then this, the younger male was absolutely terrified and he couldn’t help but start to cry, curling in on himself in the back seat as the car made a stop in the driveway. ‘Why this? What did I do to deserve this? Why would god let this happen to me?’ Feli thought to himself, letting out a frightened scream as the back door opened, being face to face with the red eyed man, backing towards the other side until his back hit the car door. He didn’t expect the man to laugh at him to say the least, it made the situation even worse knowing that all his fear was just a joke to him and as the man reached to grab his foot Feliciano panicked, resulting in kicking him in the face which made Gilbert back away, “FUCK! verdammte Hure! ich bring dich um!” The yelling only made Feliciano cry harder, screaming for help as Gilbert yanked him out of the car by his leg, getting on top of him as soon as the Italian hit the ground. The cries stopped shortly after Feli felt cold metal pressed to his forehead, his gaze falling up towards Ludwig as his eyes pleaded for help. “Bruder stop, just get him inside. I’ll deal with it.” He didn’t know why the other Nazi helped him in that situation but he was extremely grateful his life didn’t end like that still hoping there would be a chance to escape. “He fucking kicked me in the face!” Gilbert retracted his gun and stood up, rubbing the side of his face where he received the kick, muttering a few more things in German before flipping Ludwig off and going inside. “I-I’m sorry please don’t hurt me! I’m just scared please I’m so sorry!” Feliciano started to scoot away which was hard due to the handcuffs locked around his wrists. “Be quiet. I don’t want to hear anymore from you or next time I’ll let him shoot understood?” The blonds stare was extremely unsettling and it got the message across clearly. ‘Please god save me.’   
  


——————————

Translations: 

Per favore - please 

verdammte Hure - fucking whore 

ich bring dich um - I’ll kill you 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Violence, Molestation

Inside the house was no better than Feliciano expected, the house itself was nice and put together for two psychopaths but he knew what to expect being here. The young Italian was not mentally prepared for it at all of course, who the hell would be. No one would know what to expect being in a room with two nazis especially when one was very unpredictable and it made Feli more than uncomfortable watching the white haired man pace around the room holding a towel over his broken nose. It was just the two of them, from what the young man heard Ludwig went to get liquor for the two of them since Gilbert was injured and now that meant he was stuck there alone with the insane man. Meanwhile Gilbert continued to mutter curses in German, trying to stop the blood flow and it only made Feliciano wonder when he was going to turn his attention back to him instead. His anxiety was already through the roof and the poor boy already felt as if he were going to throw up nervously waiting for the man to make a move or gesture towards him. Feliciano slowly brought his knees up to his chest, sitting in the same spot on the floor where Ludwig told him to stay and of course he was going to listen, ‘ _ I’d rather be a coward then dead’ _ Feli thought to himself, his eyes glued to the floor, his internal panic interrupted by the other suddenly speaking up, “I should of just fucking shot you when I had the chance. People like you don’t deserve to live anyways” The mans tone was completely different then before, his obnoxious personality replaced with something more sinister that made chills go down Feliciano's spine, “I-I’m so sorry, I’m just scared please-“ Feliciano shrunk back into the wall as Gilbert cut him off, stepping closer towards him, “You’re not sorry. I’ll make you sorry though. I'll make sure you never fucking breathe again how does that sound?!” In a split second the nazi was ontop of him, squeezing his hands around his throat watching as the Italians eyes widened in horror and fear of what was happening. Feliciano's hands immediately shot up to claw at the arms wrapped around his neck while gasping for air, his wide eyes staring into Gilbert’s. He didn’t even know how he ended up in the situation, the young man didn’t expect to die today, especially like this. 

“I bet you like getting choked out don’t you? Fucking faggot.” Midst the panic Feliciano felt something prodding at his leg, coming to the realization the man had an erection. “p-per favore” Feli managed to choke out, his hands clinging on to the Nazis military coat in desperation hoping the man would take pity on him but he doubted a monster like this even knew what pity meant. Without doubt the young Italian expected to die within the next few seconds, his arms starting to slide down the other man's coat as black dots filled his vision. That was when he felt the weight on his throat lighten up then something he didn’t expect at all, lips over his own. He may be a coward but he wasn’t going to let some random man molest him, by this point if he gets killed for it at least going to heaven would be nicer than being here in hell. 

“Get off of me! You’re sick!” The Italian turned his head to the side and shoved at the mans shoulders in an attempt to get himself free but to no avail meanwhile Gilbert took the chance to bite down on the younger man's neck, “I’m sick? I’m not the one who takes dick up the ass am I, what do you think god would say about that?” Gilbert laughed in his ear as he rolled his hips into Felicianos, pressing his hard on directly into him. “N-No, god loves everybody! He’d think you are a demon! You are a disgusting person who’s insecure about yourself so you take it out on others and you’re going to hell for it! Me and my lover are both loved by god.” Feliciano couldn’t help but cry even if it made him look weak, he was repulsed by what was happening and it was just not starting to sink in that nothing was going to help him. 

Gilbert stared down at the boy amused by what he had said and leaned down next to his ear, “You’re right. Maybe I am taking it out on you because I also like men, but who’s going to believe a little faggot like you? They’d take my word over yours any day and there’s nothing you can do about it. So if I’m going to hell i'm dragging everyone else down with me and as far as I’m concerned I’m your lover now.” Gilbert smiled as he pulled away looking down at the shocked expression on the young man's face, taking it to his advantage as he started to yank the Italians pants off. “I’m going to break you in so many ways you’ll be begging for death and after that little stunt you pulled outside I’ve decided taking you to the camp would be too nice for you. You are going to be staying here with me. Forever.” The nazi ignored the boys obnoxious crying and weak attempts to get him away as he pulled him up into his lap on the couch, spreading his legs apart with his knees. “If you are good I’ll make this feel nice for you too. Ludwig will be home soon, maybe I’ll even let you drink with us, how does that sound pet?” None of that sounded nice, Feliciano just wanted to curl up in a ball and wallow in self pity at this point. He never felt so exposed and he didn’t understand how he was half hard at the moment, it only got worse when Gilbert started to rub him through his boxers, “n-no please don’t touch me! Please Gil-“ “You do not get to say my fucking name. Bad. You call me master.” Feliciano yelped as the man slapped his inner thigh, his legs starting to shake from the anxiety running through him as Gilbert spread them open further. “You’re so cute. I want to just shove my dick in you now. What do you think Ludwig would do if he walked in to see that huh? You’d like that wouldn’t you?” The albino spoke as he freed one of Felis legs to take his boxers off, throwing them onto the floor next to his pants. He couldn’t help but smirk seeing the boy was hard, wondering if he actually liked what he was doing. He certainly didn’t look like he enjoyed it- his face was stained with tears, he noticed the kid was on the verge of hyperventilating most likely from stress, and he was a trembling mess but it didn’t change the fact his dick was hard. Did he feel bad for the boy? No, but he could try and make it fun for the both of them. If his pet didn’t want to play along that was his own fault. 

Gilbert went back to stroking the boys dick in a slow motion, trying to milk out every sweet moan that passed through his lips between his cries. It took everything in him not to just shove the other man onto the floor and fuck him until he passed out but thankfully military training forced enough displine in him to wait. He’d rather see the other completely humiliated and begging for it by the time he was finished. His attention towards the boy briefly left when he heard the sound of the front door opening and closing until he realized it was just Ludwig getting back, ‘thank god for alcohol’ he thought to himself. On the other hand Feliciano was internally panicking at the thought of the other nazi coming in to see him like this, beginning to try and pull Gilbert’s hand away, “no no please stop” he whispered, more tears beginning to fall though he couldn’t help the moans escaping from his lips as the nazi only continued to stroke him faster while moving a hand up underneath his shirt to begin pinching at his nipple. Everything was starting to get too overwhelming for the young Italian to handle, a mix of humiliation, distress, pleasure, pretty much every emotion you could think of. All he could think to do was turn his head to bury it into the other man's neck in a attempt to shut everything else out and to his despair the older man seemed to have just found it humorous, “you poor thing~” Gilbert smiled down at the cowering figure turning his attention to Ludwig as he entered the room. 

Ludwig froze in his tracks as soon as he entered staring at the two men on the couch before slowly continuing in the room, setting the two bottles of jager down on the table. His eyes were glued to the Italian boy quivering in his brother's lap. ‘I’m going to need a whole bottle to get through this damn night’ he thought to himself as he sat down in the chair across from the two. “It took you long enough you asshole” Gilbert temporarily took his hands off Feli to grab one of the bottles, pouring out two shots, “I had to stop by Neuengamme to pick up some paperwork, I apologize I actually take my job seriously.” 

“Apology accepted now drink and maybe you’ll lose the stick up your ass” Gilbert grabbed the first shot glass and with his other hand lifted Felis head from the nape of his neck to press the glass up to his lips, “drink this mein kleiner Engel.” Feliciano was never a huge drinker, maybe a glass of wine every now and again but at the moment liquor sounded amazing. Avoiding any kind of eye contact with the two men as he let Gilbert pour the liquid into his mouth, quickly swallowing it down. He could feel Ludwigs eyes on him as the seconds passed and he absolutely hated it and the only option he had for comfort at the moment was leaning back towards Gilbert and curling up against him. It disgusted him to even do it but he didn’t have a choice. He was too tired to fight or think of ideas to escape and now with alcohol going into his system it would be better to let it happen and start fresh in the morning… if he was alive by then. “See if you don’t fight it you get rewarded, now be a good boy and go sit in Ludwigs lap. Maybe he’ll be less of a dick” Gilbert leaned down to whisper in his ear, forcing Feliciano to move out of his lap as he shoved him towards Ludwig. “Your turn Luddy.” 

Felis felt tears threaten to fall again as he was shoved up, trying to cover himself up with his shirt as he slowly made his way over to Ludwig. With deep breaths he finally managed to shove through the humiliation and sat down on the man's lap, starting to cry once more. “I think he’s more scared of you then me now” Gilbert’s obnoxious laugh broke through the silence as he took the shot, reaching for the bottle to immediately pour another, handing one to Ludwig. “Hell if I were him I would be too, you’re an asshole. Makes me sad I’m related to you” Gilbert smiled at the two of them as he took a drink from the bottle rather than pour himself another drink. “Shut up. Gott you’re so annoying you give me a headache” Ludwig groaned, tilting his head back, pouring the drink down his throat. He tried to block his brother out of his mind to focus on the little italian in his lap, part of him feeling empathy towards the other. Unlike his brother he didn’t really see the point in torturing people for just simply loving someone, even if it was the same sex. He knew it was hypocritical being a nazi and thinking that way but he only joined for the love of his country. As long as Feliciano wasn’t Jewish there was nothing wrong with him. He could feel the poor thing tensed up just sitting in his lap and couldn’t help but wonder why he was in fact more scared of him rather than Gilbert.  _ ‘hell I even helped him from getting shot in the head earlier today..’  _ Deciding to push his inner thoughts down for now he poured another shot, this time for Feliciano and held it up to his lips, hoping the alcohol would make him relax some more and to his surprise he swallowed it without a second thought. Even though he felt bad for Feliciano he couldn’t help but feel aroused with the teen being half naked and on top of him. He hated Gilbert for doing this. He didn’t want to rape a innocent man… if he was willing that would be a different story but he was obviously terrified. Honestly Ludwig himself didn’t know if he was gay or not but he would have to admit Feliciano was gorgeous and if he wasn’t a nazi he’d probably ask him on a date…”you’re so boring Ludwig, you’re not even gonna touch him? I might as well take him back” the blond could already tell his brother was getting tipsy by the way he was acting, wrapping his arm around Feliciano's waist in a protective manner, “If you try I’ll break your arms.” 

“Ohhhh scary” Gilbert smiled, his gaze turning towards Feliciano who was now curled up against the larger man and he actually looked like he was passed out, most likely from the stress of today. It wasn’t until Gilbert’s starring Ludwig noticed the italian asleep in his lap as well and he couldn’t help but feel relief, seeing it as an excuse to lay him down somewhere, “I’m taking him to my room. I’ll come back to drink but then I’m going to bed” he stood up, lifting the sleeping man in his arms ignoring Gilbert’s complaints as he left the room. As he made it up the steps to enter his room he laid Feliciano down in his bed, lifting the covers over him. “Es tut mir Leid.” 

Translations: per favore - Please

Neuengamme - Concentration camp in Hamburg 

mein kleiner Engel - my little angel 

Es tut mir Leid - I’m sorry 

  


__


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Possessiveness, nsfw

As morning came all the terrible things that had taken place the previous night began to rush back to Feliciano's head causing him to wake in a panic. He had prayed it had all been a nightmare and he was still in his nice little home with his cats but unfortunately he was still stuck in hell. He didn’t remember falling asleep last night at all which made the Italian wonder who’s room he was in. Honestly he was too frightened to sit up to find out, to him the two men were both terrible in different ways. Gilbert being psychopathic and impulsive then there was Ludwig who he didn’t really understand yet and didn’t want to either. Feliciano continued to lay there gathering the courage to get out of bed and after what seemed like a half hour the teen slowly made his move, propping himself up with his elbows to see who’s room he was in. ‘ _ How can a monster look so peaceful?’  _ He took a moment to stare at the blond who was sleeping on his back, a blush creeping over his face as he realized the man was shirtless. ‘ _ No I have a boyfriend… and Ludwig is a nazi.’  _ Feliciano tried to remind himself before forcing himself to look away. That brought him to wonder why a nazi would keep a prisoner in his room anyways… isn’t he supposed to be scum to Ludwig? Why was he in the man's bed? Feli knew for a fact they didn’t have sex because he wasn’t sore at all. At this point though he needed to stop wasting time, now was the chance to actually get out of this hell hole and move far away from this disgusting place. Slowly the red head moved off the bed trying not to disturb Ludwig in the process, he noticed he had his clothes from yesterday on so the other man must have dressed him… after what happened. Feliciano was still traumatized over the incident but he couldn’t dwell on everything that had happened until he got home. 

Getting out of the room was easier than he expected and hearing the house being completely silent he figured Gilbert was sleeping too. Trying to stay quiet through the walk down the hall was probably the most anxiety filled task Feliciano had ever done due to the fact it was basically life or death at the moment. He was so caught up in trying to be silent he didn’t notice the presence behind him, “What are you doing?” 

The Italian snapped around in less then a second to find himself face to face with the man he was just sleeping next to, “I.. I want to go home”

‘ _ Maybe there’s still a chance’  _ The man seemed tired still, he probably just now woke up after realizing Feliciano wasn’t there anymore. Feliciano took a few steps back, noticing how Ludwigs eyes narrowed as he did as if to say ‘ _ try it’  _ it almost made Feliciano stop but he knew this was his only chance to run. Without a second thought he bolted towards the door, almost making it outside before Ludwig snatched him up into his arms in a tight grip. “non lasciarmi andare! Voglio andare a casa!” Feliciano didn’t care if his actions resulted in death anymore, the adrenaline was already flowing through him. He continued to hit the man wherever he could as he was carried back into the nazis room, kicking and screaming the entire time until Ludwig actually yelled back at him, “Hör auf, dich wie ein Kind zu benehmen!” The tone in his voice was enough to make Feliciano halt his actions, instead tears started to roll down his cheeks as Ludwig let him fall onto the bed, leaving momentarily to grab a pair of shackles from the closet. This was something Ludwig didn’t want to have to deal with this early in the morning especially on his off day. It was only 5am and the other male had already made a disturbance in the house, he just prayed all the yelling didn’t wake Gilbert up. 

Returning to the bed he clasped one of the cuffs to the Italians ankle and the other side to the bedpost, ignoring the smaller males cries the entire time. ‘ _ Why doesn't he realize I’m trying to be nice.’  _ Certainly he wasn’t a nice man, but he could be doing a lot worse. At the camp he’s killed countless people but to Ludwig they weren’t people. They were disgusting creatures out here to drag others down with them and they needed to be stopped, but Feliciano wasn’t one. He didn’t desire to hurt the man but if he just let him go he wouldn’t hear the end of it from Gilbert. As a leading officer he needed to keep a good reputation and doing something of that sort would demolish it. “If you t-take me home I’ll go back to Italy today, I-I want to go back to my boyfriend” Feliciano was still crying, pulling the blanket back over himself as if it was a shield. ‘ _ Boyfriend.. I forgot about that.’  _ Ludwig remembered the fact but he made himself forget about it. Maybe it was because he wanted to be the Italians' lover.. he didn’t know, but the fact he was bringing  _ him  _ up was enough to piss the German man off. “Nein. You will never see him again.” Ludwig didn’t regret his choice of words even though it made the other man break down into tears even harder, but he had to make Feliciano lose the hope in ever seeing that man again. 

“I won’t further punish you for trying to run away but I will if you mention your ex lover again, disobey me, or tell my brother about anything that happens in this room. Understand?” The Italian nodded in response, moving to lay down once again. His tears slowly began to come to a stop as the energy left him. Feliciano couldn’t have been more confused about what was going on. He still didn’t know the exact reason why he was here or what was going to happen to him and he doubted the nazi would tell him. “...are you going to kill me?” Feliciano's voice was filled with fear as his eyes made contact with blue ones, hoping he could finally get some answers. 

“Nein.” Ludwig moved to lay back down next to Feliciano, moving his hand to turn the lamp off beside them. 

“Why am I here? Are you going to take me to that place?” 

“Nein. You will stay here.” Feliciano hoped to get more out of the man, he hated the fact he was so short and serious with everything. At Least the other one had a personality.

“But.. why? Why are you keeping me here?”

“If it will get you to stop asking me. My bruder wanted you here for his entertainment but I just want a friend. Now stop asking questions.” Feliciano was more than surprised by the answer he received but it actually raised even more questions in his mind. He couldn’t make sense of why a nazi would want to be his friend when they hate homosexuals. The man arrested him and was going to take him to a concentration camp and now he wanted to be friends? Feliciano hated this. He was even more confused now then he was before. ‘ _ Is that why he said not to tell Gilbert about what happens? Did Ludwig know about the secret his brother told me?’ _ This whole situation was too much to even keep track of, it made Feliciano wish he was taken by a different nazi. At Least he wouldn’t be in some screwed up situation like this… 

It was probably for the best to not think about it, if he did it would just end up driving him crazy and he hoped to keep his sanity intact a little longer. 

Feliciano laid facing away from the larger man, wondering if the other was asleep yet and as if to answer his questions he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist to pull him closer making Feli stiffen up. “I’m not going to hurt you.” The words didn’t help Feliciano relax but he tried to get past the fact the other man was trying to cuddle with him. Worse than that Feliciano realized the man also had an erection that was now poking against his ass, ‘ _ si, he just wants to be “friends”’ _ the teen thought to himself trying to decide if he should stay or try to move away. Ludwig was a lot larger than his lover by the feel of it and Feliciano was thankful the light was off because he could feel how red his face was right now. “L-Ludwig?” He was surprised there was no response and after a few minutes of laying motionless he realized the man had fallen back asleep. ‘ _ Maybe I can move away now’ _ he thought to himself, trying to shift out of Ludwigs grasp but to no avail. Instead the man held him closer to his chest resulting in his dick pressing harder against the Italian. 

He hated to admit it but he was actually getting worked up by what was happening…. Feli could feel his dick start to rise by the second, making him internally panic on what to do. He was terrified of Ludwig waking up or even Gilbert walking in, but after everything he’s been through he needed some type of release. With his hands shaking he reached over Ludwigs arms, struggling to pull his pants and boxers down. Once he succeeded in doing so he reached down to lightly stroke himself, squeezing his eyes shut in the process trying to focus on staying quiet as well, ‘ _ if he doesn't wake up he won’t know.’  _ Feliciano tried to remind himself as he let quiet moans escape his lips and he quickened the pace. The teen couldn’t help but press his hips back against the man's dick getting harder as soon as he did. The thought of Ludwig inside him right now was enough to get him close to an orgasm; if he wasn’t so close he’d be ashamed of himself for thinking that way about such a terrible person but at the same time he was only human. His moans only started to get louder as he continued the same movements, trying to finish as quickly as possible so he could pretend this never happened, too caught up in what he was doing to notice the other man's hands move to grasp onto his hips. Though what he did notice was Ludwig beginning to rub against his ass and Felis first thought he was still asleep making him feel even worse but he couldn’t help to keep jerking himself off as Ludwig practically dry humped him. A few moments later Feliciano came with a sharp gasp, gripping onto the blanket as he began to relax. ‘ _ Now I can pretend this never happened. Ludwig is still asleep, everything is okay.’  _ Feliciano reminded himself, panting softly as he tried to pull his boxers back up. 

“Did you enjoy yourself?” 

“ _ No. Oh mio Dio”  _ Now Feliciano truly wished he was dead.    
  


Translations: 

non lasciarmi andare! Voglio andare a casa! - Let me go! I want to go home!

Hör auf, dich wie ein Kind zu benehmen - Stop acting like a child

_Oh mio Dio - Oh my god_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Nsfw, orgasm denial

‘ _ No no why was he awake’  _ Feliciano thought in a panic, he hadn’t expected the German man to be awake for what he just did and now he had to explain himself. 

“So you’re scared of me but went ahead and used me for your dirty thoughts? Care to explain?” The man's tone remained serious like he always was but this time there was a hint of amusement behind it. Feli could tell that the nazi was still rock hard, his dick was still pressing up against his ass and to make the poor boys embarrassment worse he was starting to get hard again too. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do that without your permission” The smaller man's brain scrambled to find the right words to use in a situation like this. He didn’t think Ludwig would do anything against his will but that didn’t mean he wasn’t intimidated by the man. Meanwhile Ludwig was focused on trying to keep his cool, struggling to keep himself from pounding the other man into his mattress. It was already torturous enough for the nazi to watch the itialian masturbate right next to him. At first he was confused of what the other was doing until he felt the teen pressing up against him and Ludwig wanted so bad to just push his dick inside that tight heat. 

“What if I said you had my permission? Do you want me to do those dirty things to you schlampe?” Ludwigs hands started to drift from the man's hips down to his ass, giving the soft flesh a tight squeeze before leaning forwards to kiss up the Italians neck softly.

Feliciano more than wanted it. Though he didn’t want to admit it to a damn Nazi officer. He couldn’t help but wonder if that made him a horrible person for wanting to get plowed by Ludwig even if he was terrible. Not just that the man kidnapped him. He shouldn’t be wanting to have sex with his **kidnapper,** but here he was erect yet again just because of the light touches he was getting from the man. “Answer me.” Feliciano flinched away, hearing Ludwigs voice right next to his ear. 

“Si. I want to” only time could tell if it was a horrible decision but right now it’s not like the teen had a choice. There was a hot man sleeping in bed with him who wanted to have sex, if he wasn’t in this kind of situation Feliciano would of probably wanted to date Ludwig. Though because the man kidnapped him and killed innocent people for a living the idea of love was out the window but that didn’t mean he couldn’t relieve some tension and have sex with him. ‘ _ At Least he was kind enough to ask for consent.’ _

Without another word Ludwig began running his hands along Felis body again, moving the hand that was rested on his ass down further to rub it along his hole, “you’ve done this before ja?” The nazi took his other hand to run through Felicianos hair, gripping it lightly to pull his head to the side, looking into the teens bright green eyes. “Si” The boy was now blushing, his entire face heating up by the second. He stared back into the man's light blue eyes though he still wasn’t able to read him at all, he always held the same blank facial expression and it made Feliciano feel so uneasy. His breath began to hitch feeling Ludwig press a finger inside of him and without thinking he closed the distance between them, pulling the German man into a deep kiss. 

It was without saying Ludwig was surprised at first by the red heads sudden confidence but he returned the kiss just as eagerly, biting down on the young man's lip. Two fingers shortly turned into three as he continued to thrust in and out of Feli, Ludwigs movements only getting faster after hearing the sweet moans coming from the boy. 

This already was a lot different then the sex Feliciano would have with his lover, Ludwig was bigger and more aggressive and Feli was ashamed that actually turned him on more. Maybe he was a bit of a masochist? Him and Piero's sex was always sensual and more of making love, but with Ludwig it felt like the complete opposite. Even the way the man was moving his fingers was driving Feliciano over the edge, he was nearly hitting his prostate each time, “per favore fottimi già~” The Italian gasped out, pulling away from the kiss. 

If Ludwig wasn’t a patient man he would have lost it, the smaller males face was struck with pleasure— swollen lips, his cheeks flushed dark red and eyes half lidded. The man didn’t know much italian but he got the message of what the kid was trying to say, immediately flipping him over on his stomach to mount him. Ludwig quickly discarded his boxers glancing down at the tremble figure underneath him as he pressed his cock to the teens hole, slowly pressing himself in. He almost wondered if he even stretched Feliciano enough with how tight he felt around him but it was too late now. Ludwig wasn’t going to pull out again after being this close to getting what he wanted especially if Feli was enjoying himself and by the sound of it he was. 

“Oh dio” Feliciano moaned, his eyes widening as the larger of the two pressed further in, causing him to grip onto the sheets. He knew Ludwig was huge from what he felt earlier but he didn’t think the man was this large but the pleasure was definitely overriding the pain the only thing he wished for was that the man waited a little longer to let him adjust, instead Ludwig started a pace as soon as he pushed all the way in. His hands were digging into the small Italians hips as his rhythm began to quicken by the second, only going faster when he heard Feliciano's moans grow louder with each thrust. At this point Feli didn’t care how loud he was being, the other man was making him feel so good and the feeling of his climax was already beginning to creep up on him but he didn’t want this to end that fast. His arms had already given out, leaving him pressed against the mattress with Ludwig holding his hips up to slam into his ass, the pleasure almost made him forget the whole situation he was in. “Dio Piero~” Feliciano sobbed into the mattress, not even realizing what he had done wrong until Ludwigs movements quickly came to a stop leaving the Italian to whine in response. 

“What did you just say? Who is Piero?” Ludwig froze, his fingers digging into the boys flesh harder with rage beginning to build. He knew the man was Feliciano's boyfriend but he wanted him to say it. ‘ _ How dare he.’ _ Ludwig had already told him not to mention that man again and he had the audacity to scream  **his** name during sex. “L-Ludwig please, please keep going, I didn’t mean to I’m so close” Feliciano panted out, trying to move his hips to keep bouncing himself on the Germans length but strong hands were keeping him completely still. “Nein. You will not be cumming.” Ludwig reached around the teen to open one of the nightstand drawers, receiving a handkerchief to wrap around the base of the boys dick. 

“N-no! Ludwig please I’m sorry I didn-“ Feliciano began to speak only to get cut off by Ludwig starting to pound into him again at a rougher pace than before. Tears began to swell up in the Italians eyes as his prostate was continuously abused, leaving him able to do nothing but lay there. He could feel his dick twitching with each movement and every small thing was driving him over the edge but the cloth wrapped around him made it impossible to do anything. He didn’t even have time to think about what he did wrong or try to actually apologize to the man though he could tell Ludwig was close from the man actually starting to moan. It only took a few more moments until Feli felt warmth spreading inside of him, letting out a faint moan as Ludwig stayed pressed inside of him to ride out his orgasm. 

Unfortunately though Feli was still rock hard and he was starting to get nervous that Ludwig wasn’t going to help him with it at all. “Next time you speak his name I will give you to mein bruder, understand?” Feliciano nodded his head vigorously at the words, trying desperately to get relief by rubbing himself on the sheets below him, “I’m s-sorry please let me cum.” The teen actually began to start crying and though Ludwig didn’t want to admit it he started to pity him. “... fine but next time I won’t be as nice.” He gently untied the cloth from Feliciano's erection, starting to jerk him off in a fast motion, watching as the man began to moan and squirm underneath him. Ludwig knew he was starting to get close by the way his body started to tense up, letting the male actually cum this time. With a sigh Ludwig pulled out of the other, laying back down on his back as he glanced over towards the clock reading it was already 8am. Glancing back towards the boy he was shocked he was already asleep but their activities most likely tired him out pretty fast and unfortunately he couldn't sleep in with him. He had to run into town to do a few things and it made him nervous to leave Feliciano here with Gilbert but he didn’t have a choice, it wasn’t like he could bring him along and if he told Gilbert to leave Feli alone it would raise suspicion. He’d just have to make the trip fast and hopefully his brother would still be asleep by the time he got back. 

  
  
  


Translations: schlampe - slut

per favore fottimi già - please fuck me

Dio - god 

  
I’m glad you all enjoy so far! :)  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: rape, homophobia, violence, suicide mention

For the second time waking up Feliciano first noticed he was the only one in the bed. ‘ _ I thought Ludwig didn’t have work today…’  _ the teen slowly sat up and glanced around the room just to make sure he was alone. He couldn’t say he disliked Ludwig, but he didn’t like him either.. though he now determined the man was a lot better than his brother. If it was just him and Ludwig in the house Feliciano would actually be okay with being here, honestly he could probably convince the man to let him go back to Italy.

Slowly the memories of just a few hours ago began to collect back into the Italians head as he got up to get dressed. The sex wasn’t bad… but he technically cheated on his lover with a nazi. The young man tried to convince himself it wasn’t his fault but that would be a lie: the reality was Feliciano wanted to. He began to feel guilty, sitting down on the bed to ponder what to do with the situation and really there was nothing he could do but deal with it. No one would have to know anyways because he doubted Ludwig would tell anyone. The sounds of people talking made Feliciano snap out of his thoughts, wondering if that could be Ludwig.. not that he was happy to see him or anything… 

  
  


Getting up to investigate the Italian went to the door, surprised to see it was once again unlocked and he peaked out to see what was happening. To his disappointment it was not Ludwig. Instead Gilbert seemed to be talking to what looked like three other nazis further down the hall. Feli tried to listen to what they were saying without getting noticed until Gilbert’s red eyes landed on him making Feliciano immediately shut the door in fear as he began to panic. ‘ _ It’s okay, he wouldn’t do anything right now while people are here’ _ The young Italian tried to reassure himself as he sat back down on the bed, his anxiety starting to surface. 

Gilbert continued to talk with his friends outside the hall, mostly about work and how the camp was coming along. Being one of the commanders he often had people visit the house either for lunch or dinners, but this time it was special. He got to show off his new pet and he couldn’t wait to brag about it to the others. “I’ll meet you all in the living room, I have something to show you” He couldn’t help but smile as the other men left, walking down the hall to Ludwigs room. The albino was annoyed he didn’t get to do anything with the Italian last night since Ludwig insisted to put him to bed, ‘ _ why would he even care? It’s not like the kids matters’  _ He rolled his eyes at the thought. Even if the teen was passed out that wouldn’t stop him from fucking him, but now that he made Ludwig go into work he had Feliciano all to himself today. As he opened the door he couldn’t help but chuckle at the red head's fearful expression, “Come on I have some friends I’d like you to meet” 

Upon hearing this Feliciano began to shake his head, the thought of meeting more nazis like Gilbert made his stomach turn and without Ludwig being here he didn’t feel safe. “I-I want to stay in here… please?” 

“I didn’t ask what you wanted. Either you follow me or I’ll drag you out.” Gilbert’s smile quickly turned into a frown, staring into the younger man's eyes. After a few seconds Feli slowly stood up from the bed to walk towards Gilbert, following the man down the hallway into the living room where the others were. He could feel eyes on him already and it made the boy feel more then uncomfortable, his gaze stayed glued to the floor as Gilbert began to speak, “I found this one just the other day, I’m probably going to keep it until I get bored of it.. then I’ll just shoot it or something.” Feliciano stayed silent although he couldn’t help but feel disgust after hearing Gilbert refer to him as a ‘it’. “Is it a Jew?” Feliciano heard one of the men speak up but he wasn’t sure which one, still trying not to look at any of them to save himself the embarrassment. 

“Nein, just as bad though. A faggot.” Gilbert began to laugh as he took a seat in one of the recliners, glancing over at Feliciano, “don’t just fucking stand there go get us drinks. I want a glass of whiskey, what do you guys want?” Feliciano felt his face start to heat up as he tried to hold in tears. He hated this. He hated Gilbert. There was no reason to treat people this way and Gilbert all of a sudden was treating him like a dog instead of a human being. Sure he was bad before but now that his friends were over he was acting worse… still Feli knew if he didn’t want anything bad to happen he should do what the man wanted. The Italian sighed, going to the kitchen to get the drinks. Getting the bottle of whiskey out he took a large sip for himself before pouring four glasses. Living here was going to make him an alcoholic, something he never expected out of himself but it was understandable in this kind of situation. Once he finished he took everything back to the living room setting the glasses on the table before starting to walk back to Ludwigs room. “Where do you think you’re going? Get back here.” Gilbert grabbed his arm as he walked past, yanking him back towards his direction, “I have guests over don’t be rude.” The German man glared at him before shoving him in the center of the room, “strip.” 

Feliciano stared at the man in shock for a moment still not doing what he asked as one of the other men began to laugh, “is it retarded too?” 

“I said strip. Now.” Feliciano couldn’t hold back the tears anymore as he finally did what the nazi asked, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. He could feel all the eyes on him as he continued to undress in front of the four men until he was in his boxers. “Now lets see how good you suck dick, whore.” Feliciano gasped as he felt one of the men yank him back by his arm, falling hard to the wooden floor. His crying only became more hysteric when he heard laughter directed towards him and that same overwhelming feeling began to wash over him again to the point the teen began to feel nauseous, “oh stop it we know you fucking like this” The man infront of him spoke, finally looking up at him for the first time Feliciano noticed he resembled every other average German man; blue eyes, blond hair, and he had a some facial hair. The other men began to pay no attention to the two of them as they began to talk business once again leaving the other nazi to do what he wanted to the young Italian while Feliciano watched in horror as the man pulled his cock out from his uniform. “Come on. You have two more to go, if you want this over with you better hurry up.” Feli stared at the length in front of him before swallowing his pride, starting to wrap his lips around the Germans erection. Feliciano wasn’t proud of the thoughts that were going through his head but it was the only thing on his mind right now… the only thing that could end this all and that was taking his own life. Of course he was too much of a coward to do it but it would be better than getting sexually assaulted and traumatized everyday. He tried to stay inside his own thoughts as the man began to grip his hair, forcing him to move faster until he began to gag around his cock. He just needed to think about something else.. pretend like this wasn’t happening. More tears began to stream down his face as he gagged on the cock in his mouth and from the low grunts above him he prayed the man was going to be done soon. After a few moments of thrusting Feliciano finally felt hot liquid roll down his throat and coat the inside of his mouth, trying his best not to throw up, “swallow it. Little slut.” The Italian cringed as he did what the nazi asked, finally gasping for air once he was released and he scooted away from the larger man only to curl up into himself and cry. 

“Alright who’s next? Lukas?” Gilbert smiled over at the other man with light brown hair who only shook his head in disgust, “I’m not letting a faggot touch my dick. It makes me sick knowing he’d probably like it.” 

“Nein, he wouldn’t because your dick is small” the other man named Alec laughed, slapping Lukas on the back. “Bring him here, I'll do it.” Once again Feliciano felt hands grab at him again, ‘ _ just one more time’  _ the boy tried to comfort himself as he watched the older man take his erection out just like the last one did, but this time it was more rough. Alec immediately gripped his hair, forcing his cock down his throat as he began to slam into his mouth, “disgusting little faggot. You’re lucky Gilbert hasn’t killed you yet.. probably because you suck dick too good, you’re basically a woman. You look like one too” The nazi laughed between his groans, continuing the same motion over and over again while Feliciano choked. The Italian squeezed his eyes shut trying his best to relax. He felt a headache starting to form from getting his hair pulled on so roughly, to his displeasure Alec lasted longer than the last man. It took about ten minutes for him to cum and when he was reaching his climax he pulled Feli off his dick, shooting his cum over the smaller males face, “good bitch.” 

Feli flinched feeling the splatter on his face, shakily standing up once it was over and he turned to Gilbert. His crying had finally come to an end but it was obvious the boy was still distraught. “M-May I please go now s-sir” Feli tried to speak between raspy breaths. 

Gilbert paused his Conversation with Lukas to glance over at the boy and he had to admit… he looked fucking hot— his eyes were red from crying, dried tears and cum on his face, swollen red lips. If it wasn’t for the others being here he’d pound the kid into the floor. “Ja. Get out.” Gilbert watched as the teen quickly left the room and vanished back down the hall. 

“I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be back” Lukas stood up, pardoning himself before following Feliciano down the hall. Before going back to Ludwigs room Feliciano ran to the bathroom in search of a rag to clean himself off. He’s never felt so disgusting in his life, he couldn’t even go to look at himself without getting nauseous. After finding a rag the teen proceeded to viciously scrub his face until the skin burned, not realizing he wasn’t alone anymore until he looked up into the mirror to find the brunette standing behind him. Feli jumped lightly and quickly turned around to stare at the man, “I don’t know why Gilbert is keeping you here. If it were me you’d have a bullet in your fucking head. You people are disgusting.” Lukas spoke as he stepped towards the trembling Italian, “P-Please don’t hurt me, please” The nazis expression only changed into rage after hearing the smaller man's pleas, “you don’t get to beg for mercy.” He growled, grabbing the back of Feliciano's hair to slam his head on the edge of the sink. “Take that as a warning. I wouldn’t want to fuck up the generals boyfriend too badly.” He let go, letting Feliciano collapse on the floor, spitting on the male before he left the bathroom to join the others. 

Everything in Feliciano's vision was spinning as soon as his head made contact with the hard surface. Honestly he was disappointed the impact didn’t kill him… at this point he didn’t even feel the need to get up. Instead the young man stayed on the bathroom floor as he slipped in and out of consciousness until his eyelids slipped shut.

  
  
  


When Feliciano began to wake up he realized he was still on the bathroom floor but in a different position.. and his body was moving. ‘ _ Oh my Dio’  _ the red head tried to move, wincing from the sharp pain in his head though his attention was shorty directed to the pain in his ass. This time he began screaming, trying to lash out at whoever was on top of him until his head was pressed into the floor. “Stop it.” Gilbert growled as he continued to pound the poor boy into the tiled floor, ignoring the screams and cries. “It hurts! Stop!” Feliciano screamed until his throat began to burn, reaching up to try and pry Gilbert’s arm away from him. The younger man didn’t even have time to cope with the earlier events before waking up to something even more terrifying; his whole body felt like it was on fire and there were no signs of the albino stopping anytime soon. It hurt Feliciano more to know after all he’s been through the man still decided to rape him, even worse, while he was unconscious. “Shhh~ just let it happen, you’re supposed to like this remember? I’ve been wanting to do this all fucking day” Gilbert lowered himself to whisper into his ear as his thrusts became harder while Feliciano slowly began to relax. Not because he was starting to enjoy it but because his whole body began to go numb. The boy didn’t have the energy to fight or scream anymore, instead he laid there on the floor and let it happen like Gilbert said. “Good boy~” The nazi groaned as he began to feel his climax coming, gripping down on the soft skin underneath him. He continued to ride out his orgasm, keeping his dick buried inside the Italian as he came. “You know if you didn’t wake up you wouldn’t have had to deal with this.” The man smirked before pulling out and tucking his cock back into his pants, standing up. 

Meanwhile Feliciano stared blankly at the white wall in front of him as he waited for Gilbert to pull away. Once he felt the weight shift off of him the younger man slowly sat up, “I-I’m sorry” was the only thing he could think to say at the moment. The boy was too in shock to register what had just happened, he just wanted to go to bed and hope this was all a bad dream. “It’s okay darling, do you want to go back to your boyfriend's room?” Gilbert crouched down in front of him, still trying to catch his breath from their previous activities. He realized he wasn’t going to get a response from the kid.. he looked like he was completely fucking out of it, but still Gilbert didn’t think it was his fault. With a frown forming on his face he picked the teen up, carrying him into Ludwigs room before his brother returned. He’d love to have him in his room but Ludwig would probably throw a fit if he saw him like this.. Gilbert already had a hunch his brother had a crush on him which was disgusting, but he wasn’t going to say anything for now. “I don’t know if you’re too fucked up to hear me but if you tell Ludwig about any of this I will kill you.” He laid Feliciano down on the bed, “night princess.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m glad you all enjoy this so far!! :))


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: none

Ludwig returned home later then planned to his disappointment, though the fact his brother's car was gone from the driveway made him a little more pleased, now he didn’t have to deal with his bullshit. Work was already stressful enough with all the paperwork he had to go through assigning people to different outposts and changing rules and regulations, but at least he got to blow off some steam by executing a few prisoners today. Really what made the blond happy thought was going home to see Feliciano.. he didn’t know what it was about the young man but he was starting to feel different inside. Ludwig has never had homosexual feelings or thoughts before though at the same time he’s never been interested in woman. It’s always been work and business until Feliciano came along; the only problem was if someone found out about how he felt he’d be killed without a doubt. The situation made Ludwig even more stressed out aside from work and he didn’t have anyone to talk to about it, he didn’t even feel comfortable talking to Feliciano about it in fear of rejection or showing signs of weakness. Either way having the italian at his home was enough to keep him comforted even if it was against Feliciano's will to be there, Ludwig had already convinced himself the teen would come to terms with it eventually. 

As he walked inside the house he took his shoes and coat off to leave them at the door like usual, noticing the shot glasses and alcohol left in the living room. Usually this would be normal but Gilbert would never use more than one shot glass, so that meant he had people over. ‘ _ Lovely’  _ Ludwig thought to himself, praying he didn’t do anything stupid while he was gone. Normally Ludwig would be making coffee after work but something was telling him to go check on Feliciano first. He made his way down the hall to his room and to his relief the teen was still in his bed and seemed to be asleep. Walking closer to sit on the edge of the bed Ludwig noticed the decent sized cut on his forehead along with some bruising next to it and without a doubt he knew it was something Gilbert did. Just the thought of it made his blood boil. 

“Feliciano..” he laid a hand on the red head's shoulder to try and wake him up by shaking him lightly. A few seconds later Feliciano's eyes began to flutter open, only seeing a large figure next to him causing him to scream and instantly scoot back until he fell off the bed. With a groan the teen slowly sat up with a frown due to the pounding in the front of his head and he looked up to see a concerned German standing in front of him. “Nein it’s okay, it’s just me” Ludwig kneeled down in front of him, for some reason the man felt heartbroken to see the kid like this— even though it was Ludwig, Feli looked panicked and terrified. “P-Per favore non farmi del male! voglio andare a casa per favore” The young man sobbed, hysteria beginning to overtake him again as he curled in on himself in fear that the man would hurt him. 

“Feliciano stop. I’m not going to hurt you. I need to know what happened.” Ludwig spoke lowly, trying his best not to sound angry. Of course he wasn’t angry at Feliciano but he was definitely angry at the fact of what happened while he was gone and to make it worse there was nothing he could do about it anyways. It wasn’t like he could tell Gilbert to not harm the kid because if he did his brother would start to question him. “N-No I can't please leave me alone please I’m s-sorry” the teen continued to cry remembering Gilbert’s threat from earlier. He didn’t trust the man and he didn’t trust Ludwig anymore; he just wanted to go back home to Italy. It hurt him to think he even started to like the man, after all he was a nazi. These people don’t have feelings they just want death and destruction and Feliciano didn’t want anything to do with it. “Gott verdammt! Sag mir” The other man's voice began to get louder making Feliciano start to cry harder and cower further into the corner he pushed himself into, “senor.. per favore” he gasped out between shaky breaths, trying to stop himself before he began to hyperventilate. 

It was obvious to Ludwig the boy wasn’t going to tell him anything which he didn’t understand. That only made the German angrier but he knew he needed to control it after seeing his emotions made Feliciano start to have a panic attack. “... okay okay. Just calm down, get back in bed” he sighed as he stood up, pulling the Italian gently up with him to get him back into the bed. After the kid was situated Ludwig quickly left to get a drink. He felt like it was well deserved after work and now having to deal with this shit. The man didn’t know how to comfort people, it’s never been something he’s had to do so the best thing was to leave him alone for now. Making his way back into the living room he grabbed the first bottle he saw, taking a drink from it as he glanced around the living room to try and piece together what could have happened though all he saw was the alcohol; not much to go off of there. Though his best guess was the teen has been raped and assaulted by more than one person if his brother had people over. One thing Ludwig could do though was find out the names of the men that were at his house and do something about it, he knew he wouldn’t be questioned over that. He could make up a story that they were traitors or some bullshit. 

Ludwig continued to drink until the bottle was finished before deciding to go check on Feliciano again. He figured the man would appreciate a shower after what happened earlier in the day, he needed one too anyways after being outside. “Come on, we are going to take a shower. Can you walk okay or do you need help?” Ludwig stood by the door as he waited for an answer, watching the italian sit up. “Can I take one alone..” he mumbled, keeping his gaze away from the larger man. He was definitely not comfortable being around anyone naked at the moment, he wasn’t sure if it was Ludwig trying to rape him or the man actually being nice but Feliciano wasn’t going to take the chance. “Nein, I want to make sure you are okay and I need to shower too” Ludwig walked closer, starting to feel the alcohol hit him more and more as time went by. He knew Feliciano was anxious and scared but the boy needed to know he wasn’t going to harm him in any way. Without another word Ludwig carefully scooped the young man up into his arms before walking to the bathroom, setting the man back down once inside. 

Feliciano watched the nazi carefully, standing back into the corner as he stared at the man who was obviously intoxicated. The fact he’s been drinking caused Feliciano to grow even more nervous, he was convinced he was about to get sexually assaulted again and the thought almost brought tears to his eyes as the man started to undress. Instantly Ludwig noticed the tension and turned towards Feli while he was getting the rest of his clothes off, “please don’t start crying again, I’m not going to do anything to you Feliciano you can trust me.” The man sighed as he slipped his boxers off and turned the shower on, making sure it was a comfortable temperature for the two of them. Despite the bad feeling in his gut Feliciano started to undress, it wasn’t like he had a choice anyways. Once again he felt too exposed, he just wanted this to be over. He didn’t know why Ludwig was pretending to be nice and care for him when he knew damn well the man didn’t; It made Feliciano even more confused and scared. Watching the blond step in the shower Feliciano soon followed, facing away from him in silence as he let the water run over his body. Ludwig remained silent as well as he washed his hair with the shampoo, setting the bottle in Feliciano's reach so he could use it as well. He tried to give the boy his space so he wouldn’t freak out again and so far it was working, or Ludwig was too drunk to notice it. The man's anger from today began to turn into sadness after realizing Feliciano didn’t trust him anymore.. over something his brother did and he didn’t know how to fix that. 

“Why are you acting nice to me? Feliciano stared at the bottle of shampoo but didn’t go to grab it, instead standing under the warmth as far away as he could from Ludwig. “I’m not acting. I did not have a part in what happened today Feliciano, it wasn’t my fault.” 

“So it was my fault? Just because I like men means I deserve to get raped and beaten up? I just want to go home, please. I don’t want to stay here anymore, if you actually wanted to be nice you’d let me leave!” Tears began to fall down his cheeks again, wrapping his arms around himself. Ludwig stopped what he was doing and rested his hand against his head with a sigh before turning to face the back of the teen, “I didn’t say it was your fault. You don’t deserve those things, please just stop crying” 

“You can’t say that! You kill people everyday! You kill people like me and you have the audacity to say  **I** don't deserve it? Why are you doing this to me? Is this part of it? Is this some kind of trick or something, because I’d rather have you just shoot me.” Ludwig frowned hearing the teen start to panic again and he shouldn’t be angry right now but what he was saying was starting to get under his skin. “Stop it! Fucking stop! I don’t have a problem with homosexuality Feliciano, this wasn’t my idea it was my brothers. Don’t you dare pin this on me.” Ludwig grabbed the teens shoulder to turn him around to face him, glaring down into his green eyes while Feliciano only yanked himself away, the action only making him cry harder. “Then let me go! Why are you keeping me here?” Feliciano sobbed, covering his face with his hands and he only began to panic harder when he felt large hands prying away from his face. “Because I like you. Okay? Are you happy now? Now you can go off and tell everyone and have me shot.” Ludwig finally let go of the teen, quickly getting out of the shower and wrapping a towel around himself. The man quickly exited the bathroom, leaving the Italian as he went inside his room to get dressed. Once again the German felt overwhelmed with emotions he didn’t understand and after many years he felt like crying though his pride kept him from doing so. Instead he finished getting dressed and left to go to his office to be alone, grabbing another bottle of liquor along the way. Soon after Ludwig left Feliciano got out of the shower as well, putting on his old clothes and wiping his tears away. He tried to wrap his head around what the man had just said to him but it only made him feel even more lost. ‘ _ Why me? I don’t deserve this’ _ Feliciano shook his head, wondering if he should try to find Ludwig or stay in the bathroom. He couldn’t help but wonder if that was Ludwig telling him he was gay? Yes they had sex but he figured he was just doing that to torment him… he didn’t think there were emotions behind it. Part of Feliciano still thought none of it was real and this was just a cruel joke but the other half knew it wasn’t after how the man reacted just now. 

Feliciano almost felt bad for the other man.. but he knew he couldn’t. Even if he was going through this he was still a terrible person and if Ludwig had a crush on him, Feliciano couldn’t feel the same way. It wouldn’t work out anyways.. 

  
  
  
  


Translations: Per favore non farmi del male! voglio andare a casa per favore- please don’t hurt me! I want to go home

Gott verdammt! Sag mir- God damnit! Tell me

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mild Violence 
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter! I’ve been having writers block so if you guys have ideas feel free to tell me!!

It’s been a few days since Ludwigs sudden outburst and since then Feliciano has only been more confused. The man suddenly stopped talking to him and wouldn’t even look at him anymore, the silence was really starting to get to the young man. Thankfully though he’s had no encounters with the other nazi, Ludwig would lock his door everytime he left the house so there would be no way for Gilbert to get to him anymore. Although it was a nice gesture Feli couldn’t help but still have a hate towards the man. If he really wanted to be nice he would let Feliciano go back to Italy, not stay trapped here with nothing to do and fear for his life everyday. The last conversation they had played in repeat in the Italians head and it was clear now that the German wasn’t lying to him now. Ludwig apparently had feelings for him which to Feliciano was even worse because he didn’t feel the same way… he couldn’t. There wasn’t a single chance he’d willingly date a nazi even if Ludwig was kind to him, the man still did terrible things to innocent people. It scared Feliciano even more knowing the man would probably get angry after he was told that. So many questions ran through the young man's head that he was too scared to ask the blond, but he knew he couldn’t let things stay like this. Feliciano couldn’t handle another day of awkward silence and fear so he knew he had to just get it over with even if it did make things worse. He started to notice Ludwig would get home around 5pm and it currently being 3pm the Italian still had some time to motivate himself and destress; the one thing that helped him the most through that was art. Sadly he didn’t have much to work with but he did notice a desk in the room where Ludwig would work at sometimes. The teen got up to sit in the chair, going through drawers in search of any blank papers and pens he could use to draw with. The more he searched he began to notice the things in the desk were more of personal items rather than work, ranging from family photos to little trinquets. Feliciano pulled out some of the pictures from the drawer, starting to look through them and it actually brought a smile to his face seeing Ludwig as a child and he assumed the boy next to him was Gilbert. Both of them looked completely different.. it hurt the teen knowing this is what they grew up to be, especially Gilbert. 

Digging further into the drawers Feliciano found more pictures, these being family photos. In one showed a man Feli figured to be the two men’s father without a doubt, the man looked exactly like Gilbert. It wasn’t hard to see why the two turned out this way now either, each photo looked more depressing than the last. The father always seemed to have some type of alcohol in hand in each photo, no one was really smiling and the mother wasn’t even in any of them which was odd. ‘ _ No wonder _ ’ Feliciano sighed softly as he put the photos away back where he found them, finally finding what he was looking for. Oddly enough the old photos were enough to give Feliciano some type of inspiration, using one of Ludwig at age 12 as a reference. The italian had always specialized in realism while his brother on the other hand did landscapes and such.. just thinking about him made Feliciano miss him so much more. He realized now moving to Germany was a huge mistake, he should have just stayed in Italy with his family and this wouldn’t be happening right now. Though keeping faith was the only thing getting the young man through, at the end of the day this was all in God's hand. 

When 5pm rolled around Feliciano was still working on his project, not realizing what time it was as he was too wrapped up in what he was doing. That was until the door opened almost scaring the boy half to death. Feliciano was more nervous that the German would be mad at him sitting at his desk but surprisingly the man just looked more confused. “What are you doing?” Ludwig sat his bag down and walked over to the teen, glancing down at what he was working on and he was honestly surprised by it. He stared at the unfinished drawing for a few moments in silence before glancing back towards Feliciano with a small smile, “this is fantastic, I didn’t know you drew this well.” After a long day of work it was actually pleasant to come back home to something nice instead of coming back to silence and guilt again… it wasn’t that Ludwig was angry at the boy, the man just didn’t know how to say the right words to make things less awkward after what happened. He thought the italian hated him, but after seeing this the man assumed it was a sign of affection. “Thank you.. I was a full time artist, I did portraits for people a lot” Feliciano sighed and started to put away what he was working on back in the desk drawer and he stood up, “sorry I didn't mean to invade your privacy, I was just bored.” The teen sat back down on the bed, watching as Ludwig moved to sit down next to him, “that’s alright, it’s my fault. I’ve been distant.” 

“Si.. and about that, I had a few questions and I’m just going to be blunt… So you do have romantic feelings for me? How can you be attracted to men but also be a nazi.. because I was thinking and I mean you are a attractive man and if you weren’t a nazi I’d most likely want to be in a relationship with you…” the silence afterwards only made Feliciano grow more uncomfortable, the teen starting to shift over onto the bed some more just incase the man started to get angry again. He should understand though that this conversation needed to happen. Both of them were adults, if Ludwig couldn’t handle a simple conversation like this then there wasn’t even a point in trying. Ludwig took a deep breath as he pondered how to answer the question; he already knew the answers but he didn’t expect the younger man to be so straight forward with this. “Ja I do have ‘romantic feelings’ as you call it, but I’m not attracted to men. I don’t know what I like. I’ve never liked anyone before, men or women. I don’t necessarily like the fact I’m attracted to you.. I was raised to think it was wrong but at the same time it’s not like I can help it and as far as my work goes, I like doing this. You shouldn’t judge me for what I do because who says what I’m doing is wrong? You’re not god. You can’t say what’s wrong or right.” It was all still confusing to Ludwig too, he didn’t understand his own feelings but if it’s right he felt like God would lead him to it. He hasn't been convicted for being attracted to the other man yet just like he hasn’t been convicted for killing people so to him this is what God wants. “It’s more of the act of being morally wrong Ludwig, it’s not okay to just kill innocent people just because they are different. I just can’t be attracted to someone who believes that…I’m sorry”

It wasn’t until now Ludwig realized he couldn’t handle rejection well. The pain he felt in his heart when the other male said that was starting to grow worse as he sat in silence yet again; the sadness slowly turning into anger. He risked his reputation and life telling the boy he liked him and he wasn’t even flattered by that, after everything he’s done. Protecting him, being nice to him, giving him things he needed. “Okay. You’ll be leaving tomorrow, I’ll have Gilbert take you to Neuengamme in the morning.” Ludwig glared at the male before getting up and walking towards his desk with his bag, starting to sort of paperwork he needed to get done. Feliciano stayed put, staring at the man in disbelief after what he had just said, “are you serious? So you’re just going to have me killed because I won’t be in a relationship with you? If that’s the case just do it yourself. Get it over with” Truthfully Feliciano thought the man was lying, he didn’t actually think Ludwig would have him killed but apparently he didn’t know the man as well as he thought he did. “Fine, if that’s what you want.” The nazi stood up, pulling Feliciano up by his shirt as he picked the smaller male up and threw him over his shoulder, ignoring his protests and panic as Ludwig left the room and headed into the basement. It now hit Feliciano that he wasn’t bluffing and panic started to kick in as Ludwig carried him out of the room. As the blond dropped him down onto the floor Feliciano groaned in pain, wincing as he sat up and watched Ludwig take the gun off his belt. “Ludwig please don’t do t-this, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that! I didn’t mean it that way I swear, I meant I do like you! I just need time to warm up to the idea of what you do, please don’t kill me” The teen began to cry, backing away from the larger man in absolute fear as Ludwig only seemed to get angrier, “don’t fucking lie to me. You’re only saying this because you know I’ll kill you. It’s pathetic.” 

“No! I’m not, I promise, please, I’m sorry. Just give me another chance! I’m so sorry Ludwig, I-I’ll be your boyfriend, I’ll do whatever you want” Ludwig sighed and slowly lowered his gun, cursing at himself for taking pity in the man and he slowly walked over towards him before kneeling down to his level. “Stop it. I don’t want to hear anymore from you tonight, understand?” Feliciano only nodded in response , letting the man pick him up again. He let out a shaky breath of relief when Ludwig began carrying him back upstairs, clinging onto the man like his life depended on it as his crying slowly came to a stop. The younger male tried to convince himself maybe being in a relationship with the man wouldn’t be too bad… if it meant saving his life, it’s not like he had a choice in the matter. It was either that or being killed and although Feliciano knew he would go to heaven it didn’t change the fact he was still scared of death. Once Ludwig got back to his room he laid the teen back down on the bed before going back to his work in silence. He was even angrier at himself for not being able to go through with killing the boy. Something inside him wouldn’t let him do it even though he wanted Feliciano gone; he knew the teen didn’t love him, he was just scared and Ludwig was too infatuated with the boy to actually get rid of him. The situation made the blond wish he never met the Italian, he wished he would have just called off work that day and all of this could have been avoided. Maybe he’d talk to Gilbert about it… he hasn’t talked to the man about anything emotional since he was a child but he needed someone’s advice and although his brother wouldn’t approve he knew Gilbert wouldn’t tell anyone. Still, for now Ludwig thought it was for the best to keep it to himself until things got worse. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of past abuse

Once again Ludwig stayed in silence for the night and when morning came around the man left the room before Feliciano woke up, not having the energy to put up with the teen today after what happened. He began his normal morning routine by making a pot of coffee and breakfast, picking the newspaper off the kitchen table. He figured Gilbert must already be awake since the mail was inside, it wasn’t often that the older male woke up earlier than him so Ludwig found that odd. Though it wasn’t anything he needed to worry about.. the only thing he was concerned for was his and the italians relationship. All these confusing emotions continued to run through the man's head until it gave him a migraine; was he a homosexual? He’s never had feelings towards other men before. At first he just thought Feliciano was attractive but now he was starting to develop emotions towards the boy and it was beginning to drive him crazy. It wasn’t like he could simply ask advice from others either because liking men wasn’t normal. He was expected to find a wife and have children but Ludwig had never been attracted to females before either.. he wished he had it in himself to just get rid of Feliciano but he couldn’t. Ludwig loved and hated the kid. He hated the Italian for making him fall in love but that was the problem and what Ludwig didn’t understand is that he’s been nothing but kind and even opened up to Feli only to be rejected. The man knew the teens' feelings weren’t mutual, he only said so because Ludwig threatened to kill him… but that didn’t feel right to the man. He wanted a genuine relationship, and he couldn’t get that all because he was a nazi; like that made a difference. “Guten morgen Luddy” The albino joined his brother in the kitchen, walking around the table to lean against the counter. “What are you doing up this early?” Ludwig stared at the other while pouring himself some coffee, starting to feel uneasy by the change in his brother's attitude. “We need to have a talk, come to the living room.” Gilbert walked off, figuring Ludwig should already know what he wanted to talk about. The older man wasn’t as dense as he seemed and this was  **his** house, of course he was going to know what the hell was going on. He just needed proof before he went to have a serious conversation about it. Ludwig cursed under his breath before following the man with his coffee, praying to god it wasn’t about his current situation. It made him wonder how Gilbert could have even found out.. there was no possible way he knew. Ludwig slowly took a seat in one of the chairs, setting his coffee down and waited for the other man to speak first. “First of all I’m not angry with you Ludwig. You’re my little brother and I will always love you. That being said I’d like you to come out and say it before I have to, just be honest with me.” Ludwig sat in silence after soaking in what his brother just said to him, keeping up a calm and collected exterior. The blond began wondering if there was anything else Gilbert could be talking about but he hadn’t done anything other than what’s been going on in his room.. he noticed Gilbert beginning to get impatient as he took longer than expected to answer the question, “I don’t know what you’re talking about bruder.” Gilbert only glared back in response and sighed, pressing his hand against his forehead. “Ja you do Ludwig. Did you forget I basically raised you? I know when you are lying and I know everything you do, but apparently you aren't mature enough to tell me yourself. You are 20 years old, grow up.” 

The words definitely hurt the young man.. he didn’t expect his brother out of everyone to say that, it’s been awhile since the man had gotten serious and for the first time Ludwig actually felt like he preferred the way he usually acted. “I just don’t want to talk to you about it.” The blond began to feel more uncomfortable with the other nazis gaze on him, looking to stare at the floor instead. “Well I do. Tell me what’s been going on with you and that little faggot in your room or I will put both of you in the camp.” Of course Gilbert wasn’t being serious but the fact his younger brother was infatuated with the Italian made him more than angry. He never expected Ludwig to be a faggot too.. yes that was hypocritical for the German to think considering he had sex with men but unlike his brother he wouldn’t want to marry one. It was repulsive. Gilbert only had sex with Feliciano as an act of torture and if he would of known this is what would of happened he wouldn’t of brought up the idea of bringing the Italian into his home. He didn’t think the kid would corrupt his brother too, that’s why those things needed to be killed; they go around spreading their disease to everyone else. The silence he received only made Gilbert angrier, causing him to wonder when his brother turned into such a coward, “Ludwig. Talk to me, I heard you the other day telling that cunt you had feelings for him. That’s why you’ve been protecting him the past week isn’t it?” Ludwig was more than shocked at the moment, it felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest with the sudden confrontation; It almost made him want to throw up. “I um… Ja. I don’t know how I feel though.. I’m confused.” The younger man remained staring at the floor as the tension in the room only worsened. This is why Ludwig didn’t want to talk to the man about this, he was a fool to think Gilbert would have been understanding. “I don’t think you're confused. I think that little bitch had you brainwashed to think these things. I’m going to get rid of him today and you’ll b-“ “Nein. Nein you will not touch him. Feliciano hasn’t done anything, he has no control over my feelings.” Ludwig cut the other off quickly, glaring towards him as the man only returned the same expression. “You do not tell me what to do Ludwig. I am still in charge of you! You may be a legal adult but to me you are still a fucking child. I should have left you with dad instead of taking you with me.” 

As soon as those last words hit tears began to form in the blonds eyes for the first time in a while, Ludwig couldn’t remember the last time he cried but he didn’t think it would've ever been over something his brother had done. “I-I have to leave” Ludwig went to stand up as Gilbert only cut him off ,”Nein. Sit down, I’m not done.” Not wanting to make anymore problems Ludwig listened, sitting back down as he tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. To make things worse he knew the older male was staring at him, he could feel those red eyes piercing through him and he knew Gilbert must've thought less of him now for crying. Men weren’t supposed to cry. “I thought you were better than this. I shouldn’t have given you a higher position in my army, if I knew you would have turned out like this you wouldn’t even be here. I gave you a second chance to life and you turn into a faggot, I could have left you to get beaten by dad your whole childhood.” Honestly Gilbert didn’t mean what he said.. he was jealous. He didn’t want his little brother to run off with some lowlife fag and leave him here alone forever.. it was selfish but when wasn’t he selfish? The only person he’s ever had to care for in his life had always been his baby brother and he felt like he was losing that and he’d be damned if he was going to let Feliciano take that from him. It did hurt to see the blond crying, he hadn’t seen Ludwig cry since he was living with his father but it was good for the kid. He needed to unbottle his emotions anyways. “I didn’t think this would be such a big deal.. I’m sorry. Can I please go” the blond was basically sobbing into his hands by this point, the older man's words finally getting to him. It made Ludwig feel like a child again and he despised that feeling more than anything, he caused him to feel weak. “Nein, I want you to promise me this delusion you are having will stop and don’t just say yes just because you want this all to go away. I know how you are.” 

“I.. I can’t do that, I really like him. He makes me happy Gilbert, I haven’t been happy in such a long time and you haven’t even noticed that have you? I hate work, I’m stressed out, I’ve never had a childhood and I just bottle everything up because everyone looks at me like I’m a pussy if I try to talk about it!” Ludwig took a deep breath before wiping the tears off his face, his crying finally coming to a stop while he waited for a response from his brother who finally went silent. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know Ludwig was depressed, how the hell would he?! The kid never talked about his emotions to him and if anything he didn’t have a reason to be depressed, he’d given the boy everything he could have ever wanted; it was bullshit. “Go to your room. I’m done talking to you.” Ludwig only stared at the man as he shook his head, “just what I thought, thank you for the help dad.” He glared at the older man before getting up to go, leaving Gilbert to realize what the teen had just said. “Fuck you! I will never be like our father you little bitch.” The man seethed, grabbing the glass of whiskey on the table only to throw it against the wall in pure rage.

Meanwhile Feliciano stayed pressed against the door, listening to the two men’s conversation come to an end as he heard footsteps approaching. The Italian quickly scrambled to get back into the bed just as Ludwig entered the room, clearly distressed. He didn’t even look at the teen as he went to lay down next to him in his bed, pulling the blankets over himself. A frown began to form on Feliciano's face as he watched; after hearing the conversation he understood where Ludwig was coming from and for the first time he actually felt empathy towards the young man. “Ludwig.. are you okay? Do you need to talk?” Feliciano moved closer to the man, trying to get him to roll back around to face him but the action seemed to only piss the German off. “Get the fuck off me.” He shoved Feliciano away harder then he was trying to, sending the teen to the floor. The last thing he needed was for Feliciano to pry into his business right now, he already felt weak and talking to Feliciano about his “feelings” was only going to make it worse. Besides it didn’t matter anyways, Gilbert was probably going to kill the kid soon so he didn’t need to gain any more attachments to him. After hitting the floor Feliciano winced, feeling a little hurt the man would just push him away like that. He hesitated to get back on the bed, slowly moving towards the blond once again. He didn’t forgive Ludwig for what he did yesterday but he knew the pain the man was feeling, he’s been through this before too with family and stress. If anything now he knew it wasn’t Ludwig that was the problem.. it seemed to be Gilbert and the father, Ludwig was just a product of who he was raised by and it wasn’t fair. “Ludwig it’s okay” the teen said softly, leaning over towards him to press his lips against the other males. The sudden action caused Ludwig to flinch and push the other back once again, staring at the other man like he was crazy, “why did you do that?!” 

The outburst only made Feliciano laugh lightly, finding it a little humorous that the man who kidnapped him and wanted a relationship was now getting mad over a kiss, “Deep breaths, you are stressing yourself out too much… I’m sorry for what happened out there, you don’t deserve that.” Feliciano sighed softly as the man only groaned, watching him cover his face with his hands. It was a shame Ludwig was sucked into this kind of lifestyle.. if things didn’t happen the way they did Feliciano would have actually been willing to try and show Ludwig a better way in life, but the Italian knew he wouldn’t listen. There may still be hope for the man but at the same time Feliciano wondered if it was even his problem… he was the one that was forced to be here. He didn’t ask to be involved in any of this and now as he was learning more about the two men he wished he hadn’t, it only made the teen want to help. Ludwig may not be as terrible as he thought but the man was still unstable and that wasn’t his fault either. It was the people who raised him. “...Feliciano.. I think you need to go back to Italy.” …  _ ‘what.’  _ The teen paused for a few moments trying to wrap his head around what the man had just said. It’s not like he didn’t want to go home, but why the hell would Ludwig just let him leave. “Why?” Feliciano sat closer to the man and that’s when he noticed the tears on his face, “Ludwig please talk to me.” The Italian stared at the man in shock. It was definitely strange seeing the same person who terrified him now having a mental breakdown in front of him, he certainly didn’t expect this to happen. “I’m taking you to the train today, you need to leave. Just be happy about it, you are going to get killed if you stay here.” 

“Then come with me. We can find a house in Italy together.” Ludwig shook his head, feeling worse each time another word came out of the italians mouth. “Nein. I  **cannot** do that. Don’t act like you care about me Feliciano, it’s okay. I’m sorry all of this happened to you.. I really am. You shouldn’t have been pulled into all of this shit. Just go back to your lover and family.” Ludwig stood up, trying to collect himself before leaving his room again. Sadly enough the blond was kind of glad this was happening.. when Feliciano goes back everything could go back to normal and he wouldn’t have to deal with anything like this ever again. “Once again I’m sorry. I know apologizing isn’t going to justify anything that you’ve been through here but I feel like it should be said.” 

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Homophobia, Violence

The next train to Bolzano, Italy departed at 6:30pm which gave Ludwig plenty of time to get ready. Thankfully Gilbert had announced to him he was leaving to patrol the area so the man wouldn’t have a clue Ludwig would be gone momentarily to escort Feliciano there safely. He planned to tell his brother that he killed Feliciano himself so there would be no more questions or concerns left and this whole ordeal could be swept under the rug. All the man wanted was to forget this ever happened and go back to his regular life. Of course he was still in love with the teen and it hurt Ludwig to know all of it would be but a memory soon, but he had no choice. Even if Feliciano did stay there would be no relationship and Ludwig knew that. As soon as the coast was clear and he heard the rumble of Gilbert’s car pull out of the driveway he went to get Feliciano. The Italian acted disappointed to be leaving but Ludwig knew he was happy to go, there was no reason for the young man to want to stay here anyways and if he just stopped pretending to be sad Ludwig would feel a little better about the situation too; but it made everything worse. “Are you ready Feliciano? I apologize we can’t stop by your home to grab your things, I can’t risk being caught by anyone while doing this. We could both be in a lot of trouble.” Feliciano nodded as he stood up, not really needing to prepare anything to leave since he didn’t have any of his belongings with him in the first place. The only thing he had with him was a picture of Ludwig he stole out of the man's desk to remember him. He was incredibly happy to be able to see his family again after what he’s gone through but oddly enough he was starting to want to stay with the German. Feliciano still didn’t understand why but the more he learned about Ludwig the more he was inclined to stay, he honestly felt bad for the man. Maybe it was romantic feelings he felt for him, or maybe he pitied the blond but either way he wanted to spend more time with him. It remained silent as the two walked outside to the black car parked in the driveway, both not wishing to speak for different reasons. Ludwig knew if he paid the teen any mind the man would eventually have a small break down and his pride kept him from doing that, especially after what happened earlier today. He was already angry with himself for crying in front of the man who raised him and in front of the man who he had a love interest towards. Any emotions automatically made Ludwig feel like less of a man, that’s what he was raised to believe. The man would continue to bottle everything up until he died and he was content with that. Feliciano on the other hand just didn’t know what to say. He still didn’t know much about Ludwig; the Italian wish he did though. He wanted so badly to get to know more about Ludwig after what happened today, it was a shame to know he was leaving just as he started to share mutual feelings. Because overall the man was handsome, he was exactly Feliciano's type and after learning what he did, there wasn’t a doubt in the teens mind that he could have convinced Ludwig to move away with him to live a better life; but he ran out of time. 

As the blond drove he began to notice several patrol cars in the area they were driving through, trying to keep an eye for if one of those cars were his brothers. Thankfully it didn’t seem to be any of them to Ludwigs relief. The train station was only 10 or so minutes away now and the man was confident they would arrive safely, though he was still paranoid. Apparently for a good reason too; no more than a minute later Ludwig noticed a car following him and it took him a second to realize who it was. “Scheisse.” Alarmed, Feliciano glanced back to see what the problem was as Ludwig pulled over to the side of the road. He noticed a car with three men inside. Gilbert he recognized as soon as he left the car and the other two he unfortunately knew as well. It was two of the three men that had sexually assaulted him that day, Lucas the one who knocked him unconscious and Alec. “Ludwig.. those are the two that hurt me the other day. Please can we go, I don’t want them to see me, t-they are going to kill me” the Italian began to panic as the three approached the car, not understanding how the blond was being so calm about the situation. “Please Ludwig-“ “Nein, it’s okay I’ll figure something out.” And sadly that was a lie. The young adult had no idea what to do right now, really he knew they were both fucked but Ludwig knew if he began to panic it would make things worse and he didn’t want to further alarm the italian. 

Gilbert was the first to approach the car; leaning down to the unrolled window as he looked inside, amused to see the two. “And what are we doing out? If you’re taking the fag to the camp you’re going the wrong way bruder.” Ludwig began to grow more anxious as the other two men approached. He never took a liking towards his brother's friends and after knowing those were the two that hurt Feliciano he wished them dead, but unfortunately his chances of winning this battle were slim. “Stay here” the blond glanced over towards the Italian who refrained from making eye contact with any of them, visibly fearful. Ludwig quickly stepped out of the car to confront the men, “I don’t see it to be any of your business Gilbert.” Sadly he didn’t have a better excuse for what he was doing and he knew the statement would only piss the older man off. “Oh really? Actually it is my business, I am in charge of you and what you do with prisoners and I don’t think I said you could take that faggot anywhere.” As the two brothers talked Feliciano tried to listen in on what was happening, his anxiety only rising as he noticed the other two men’s gazes directly on him as they whispered things to each other and looked from him to Ludwig. “Ludwig I know you were taking him to the station. That’s the only place that is headed out this way.” 

“I think we should kill them both” Lukas spoke up, staring at the two brothers. “Nein!... just.. hold on I need a moment to think” Gilbert sighed deeply as he stepped away from the situation. He truly didn’t expect Feliciano to be in the car as well when he pulled up behind his brother and with the two other nazis being with him he knew this wasn’t a good outcome. The man had to come up with something fast to keep Ludwig out of trouble for treason and to cover his own skin for letting him off the hook. The problem was that Lukas was a persistent man and he was intelligent, he wasn’t going to let something like this slide and it was clear that the man already knew what was going on between his brother and Feliciano. 

“What so you’re a faggot too Ludwig?” Lukas waited for Gilbert to step far enough away before speaking to the younger, his eyes narrowing on the young man. The blond ignored the other man completely as he waited for his brother to come back, his main worry being Feliciano at the moment. Even though he was begging to grow fearful too he knew Feliciano must have been terrified right now. Slowly he glanced through the window to look at the teen, making eye contact immediately and he gave him a small reassuring smile. Feliciano still had no clue what was going on out there, listening in wasn’t an option anymore for he couldn’t even hear anything that they were saying; but he knew it was nothing good. Without a doubt he thought both him and Ludwig were going to be killed and the thought both terrified him and saddened him. Mostly due to the fact that the man was only trying to save him and now he was facing death for it… A nazi just risked his life to get him back home. Feliciano never thought he’d be thinking this but he actually wished Ludwig never tried to help him, the guilt Feliciano felt was overbearing. 

“I’m talking to you, don’t look at your fucking boyfriend.” For the second time today Ludwig was caught off guard as the older man knocked him to the ground and out of instinct Ludwig pulled his gun on him with his finger on the trigger. “Drop it.” Alec quickly did the same, holding his gun to the blonds head. After staring between the two Ludwig slowly dropped his weapon while glaring at the men, watching as Lukas picked it off the ground. “I should have him just shoot you right now. People like you aren't needed in this world, it’s disgusting that we thought you were one of us.” 

Ludwig only stayed silent in response, knowing that answering the man wouldn’t make a difference in the situation anyways; though what he didn’t expect was for the other nazi to kick him directly in the face. The blond knew how to handle pain, but a broken nose was something different. While doubling over in pain Ludwig tried to hold in a scream, covering his bloody nose with both of his hands. He could hear Feliciano screaming something in the background to his disappointment; Ludwig did  **not** want the boy involved in this. The pain only grew as Lukas proceeded to deliver more kicks into his chest and his stomach while Alec stayed behind to hold the gun on him the entire time. He began to wonder where his brother was at the moment but now to think of it the man probably didn’t care this was happening. Gilbert probably wanted him dead and Ludwig was growing to believe he deserved it. Suddenly the blows ceased with a gunshot and the blond slowly opened his eyes to see Lukas staring right at him in the ground; Frantically Ludwig scooted away, not too fond of laying right next to a dead body. “What the fuc-“ another gunshot echoed through the field as the other nazi collapsed to the ground, Gilbert walking up behind him with anger displayed on his face as he proceeded to shoot Lukas’ corpse over again until his gun ran out of bullets. Ludwig stared at his brother in shock as he held his nose, trying to process what the hell just happened and if he was going to be next. “Go home Ludwig. Take Feliciano with you, I have to take care of this.” 

Ludwig didn’t even question the man before getting back on his feet and rushing over towards the car, glancing back over to the man before pulling away from the accident. “Ludwig are you okay?! I’m so sorry this happened it’s all my fault! Let me drive you, you’re hurt!” Feliciano spoke through tears as he looked in horror at the blonds beaten up face, but surprisingly Ludwig seemed unphased. “Nein…it’s alright.” The italian couldn’t help but think this was all his fault, he didn’t understand why they hurt Ludwig instead of him when Ludwig was only trying to do good. Plus the fact that Gilbert did what he did made the red head even more confused of what was happening, because last time he checked the man hated him and the fact his brother had a love interest in him. Feliciano had no clue the real intentions behind what the albino did, he figured Gilbert would have them both killed after finding out Ludwigs secret today. The drive home was faster than usual with Ludwig speeding down the dirt road until he arrived at the house, Feliciano being the first to get out to help the man inside. The Italian quickly sat the blond down at the kitchen table and grabbed a rag, holding it over Ludwigs nose in an attempt to stop the blood from flowing. He was actually surprised the other was letting him help, he figured Ludwig would be pushing him away right now though he was thankful he wasn’t. Ludwig continued to let the teen try and help, only flinching when his nose was touched in certain areas. When the bleeding came to a stop Feliciano started to wipe the blood off after wetting the piece of cloth, managing to remove all of it as he examined the man's nose. It was noticeably crooked now and the only way the Italian knew how to fix it was to push it back into place.. “Ludwig this is going to hurt really bad okay?” After Ludwig gave a nod in response the teen took the crooked section into his grasp, trying to prepare himself for how bad it was going to be. Before giving himself anymore time to dwell on it, Feliciano snapped the piece back into place and immediately cringed after hearing the sound of bones cracking. It seemed although the Italian had a bigger reaction to it then the German, Ludwig only cringing at the feeling as Feliciano acted as if he felt the pain too. 

“Thank you Feliciano” Ludwig sighed as he finally relaxed into the chair and stared blankly past the teen at the wall behind him, flinching lightly as he felt weight on his legs. “No, don’t apologize, this was my fault. Ludwig I really like you. I don’t ever want to leave you and I’m sorry it took this happening to realize that” Ludwig felt as if his heart stopped after hearing that and feeling small arms wrap around him into a hug, looking down at the boy who was practically in tears now. He shouldn’t be happy to hear that. He didn’t want to feel the same way. Especially knowing there was a chance it could get ripped away from him once his brother got home; there was no guarantee Gilbert wasn’t going to kill Feliciano after this, but Ludwig was selfish. The man needed this right now. “I love you Feliciano.” 

  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Self harm, Suicide Attempt

“Ludwig!” Gilbert stormed into the house a few hours after his brother arrived; apparently covering up two murders was a lot harder than he imagined it to be due to the fact they were fellow soldiers. The albino went straight the the blonds room, figuring that’s where the man would be and to his surprise the door was unlocked this time. Walking in he instantly made a face of disgust seeing the two men asleep and cuddled up with each other, “Ludwig!” The blond was the first to wake up, practically jumping out of bed alarmed by the sudden intrusion until he realized it was just Gilbert. “Wake the faggot up too, we need to discuss a few things.” The older man glared at the teen sleeping in his brother bed before leaving them be, heading to the kitchen to pour himself a drink. It’s not like he completely despised the fact his little brother took a liking to men… he just didn’t like having to share Ludwig with someone else and ontop of that he didn’t want the younger man to get hurt if word came out that he was in fact a faggot. If that was the case both him and Ludwig would end up getting killed, that’s why Gilbert made the decision to kill the other two nazi soldiers. If he let the two men live Gilbert knew he would of been forced to shoot his own little brother and that would be something he could never live with, if that happened Gilbert would without a doubt he taking his own life as well. 

The man figured as long as Ludwig kept it a secret and was happy… maybe it was okay, but their needed to be rules in place if this was going to work. Still Gilbert wasn’t too fond of the Italian; he still thought the red head corrupted his little brother while being here, but apparently killing the boy wouldn’t go over well with Ludwig and his happiness was all Gilbert wanted. 

“What do you mean he wants to discuss something with us… is it something bad?” Feliciano stared at the man as he spoke timidly. From what Ludwig said, whatever his brother wanted didn’t sound too pleasant and the Italian thought they all went through enough today. What Gilbert needed to say could wait at least until tomorrow. Thought the Italian couldn’t bring that up, even if he told Ludwig how he felt, Feliciano noticed the man was wrapped around his brothers finger and anything Gilbert wanted Ludwig would do. He hoped in the future that would change, but for now it was one step at a time… unless there was no future. Honestly Feliciano worried that this talk Gilbert wanted to have was about killing him, which to Feli was a possible outcome that he didn’t want to think about and from the way Ludwig was acting he knew it too. “I don’t know Feli. Come on” Ludwig paced around the room as he waited for the younger male, walking out once Feliciano finally got out of bed. The two joining Gilbert in the kitchen where the man already had a glass of whiskey in hand. “Have a seat. It’s nothing too bad, don’t look so nervous Luddy. You look like you’ve seen a ghost” The German laughed lightly before taking a drink, trying his best to lighten the situation up for his own sake as well. He couldn’t deny that the past few days had been stressful and for someone who usually had a sporadic and chaotic personality it was weird to be so serious all the time. Still Ludwig didn’t find the humor that entertaining, taking a seat next to Feliciano at the table across from his brother. Even with Gilbert being less serious then he was before Ludwig knew the man could still be harsh, so there was no relaxing until he knew what was going on. 

“Alright… so, Ludwig. If you are to continue living in this house I want to make a few things clear. Your little pet is not to leave the property, he must be kept in your room unless I say so, Keep whatever you two do in your room because I don’t want to see that shit, and don’t repeat anything that happened today. Failure to obey these rules will result in your “ _ boyfriends”  _ death, understand?” Ludwig listened to what the man had to say before slowly nodding his head as he glanced towards Feliciano. He expected the other male to be saddened by this news since he was stuck at this house once again but to Ludwigs surprise the Italian seemed happy. As soon as Feliciano heard the news a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders, taking in a sigh of relief, “dio mios, I thought you were going to kill me” the Italian laughed lightly, trying to play off his fear as a joke. “I don’t know I still might” Gilbert flashed the teen a smile as he finished his glass, glancing over at his little brother to see he still didn’t seem happy. Why wouldn’t he be? Gilbert expected the man to at least feel better after hearing that… “you know Ludwig you should be grateful, I had to kill two of my best men because of you. At least show some gratitude” 

Ludwig finally looked up at the man after he said that, narrowing his eyes at him; the blond was in disbelief that he could even think like that when Ludwig saw nothing wrong about his actions, but before he could speak Feliciano cut in, “we are, thank you Gilbert…” Feliciano tried his best to smile at the other nazi, wanting to avoid conflict the best he could because quite frankly the teen didn’t want anymore fights today. He could just feel how tense Ludwig was and although he understood, he felt like it was better for Gilbert to feel like he did something good. At least the two were slowly going a step in the right direction, especially from where they started. Feliciano hadn’t forgotten all the sexual and physical abuse, but the teen was easy to forgive and move past things. All that mattered was Ludwig never did those things… it was all Gilbert. The Italian still despised the albino, but at least the abuse has stopped… for now. Feliciano was still on edge about being in this house but he had convinced himself Ludwig would never do anything to harm him, and as long as he was in the mans room nothing bad would happen; this was far better then death anyways. 

“Come on Feliciano” The teen watched as the man stood up to leave, not paying Gilbert a second glance before leaving the room while Feliciano followed behind. “Why do you seem so upset? Everything is okay Ludwig… you need to relax” Feliciano tried to catch up to the man as they went back to his room, trying to make the best out of the situation while also cheering the nazi up. “I don’t want to talk about it.” A frown fell over Felis face after hearing this, sitting down on the bed next to the blond as he held his hand. “You need to though.. talking about things helps, especially now that I’m your boyfriend, right?” He moved closer to the male as he placed a kiss on the others cheek, taking notice of how Ludwig seemed to cringe away some. Was the man not interested anymore? The silence was only making the Italian grow more nervous, wondering what Ludwigs problem even was with this when he was the one who wanted the relationship in the first place. “Nein. I’m not forcing you into something you don’t want, I’m not my bruder. You don’t want to be here and you don’t want to be my lover. I want you to stop lying to me, I just want you gone.” Ludwig glared at the boy before pushing him away, “I’ll be back.” The man once again left the room, this time leaving Feliciano behind to stare at him in shock; though what Ludwig said did make him wonder. He was confused himself if he actually had true feelings for the other man. Yes he pitied the blond and wanted to help him but at the same time what if he was only doing this because he was forced to stay in this house… did he truly develop some sort of feelings for Ludwig or did he just accept his fate? Everything was so confusing. To make it worse Feliciano didn’t have anyone to talk to about it.. the only people in the house were those two and there was no way he could talk to either one about his issues. It made Feliciano wonder if he really was better off dead; it was clear the teen would never be happy here and honestly there wasn’t a point in trying if Ludwig was just going to brush him off like this. Feliciano needed comfort too, it was hard just giving it to Ludwig and not receiving any as well. 

As his thoughts began to eat at him more and more Feliciano finally began to cry, laying down in the bed to hold onto one of the pillows. It seemed being optimistic wasn’t going to work even if he tried his hardest to make it, his gut feelings were right. He didn’t want to be here, he was just trying to persuade himself into thinking this was okay so he wouldn’t lose his mind; but the reality was he was stuck with someone who he didn’t know and wouldn’t put the effort into even talking to him and someone who had raped and threatened to kill him countless of times. The Italian didn’t even know why he thought he could fix this mess, there was no way he could help Ludwig. He just needed to accept the fact that maybe heaven would be the better choice and although suicide was a sin it would be better then living through this, surly god would understand. 

As hours passed Feliciano expected Ludwig to come back at some point, but instead the Italian spent the time laying there to wallow in his own self pity as he contemplated suicide over and over in his mind. He was tired of waiting for the man though, why wait for someone who clearly didn’t care to come back to him after saying something so harsh. ‘ _ He wants me gone anyways…’  _ the teen thought to himself, finally moving off the bed to grab the bottle of rum sitting on the nazis desk. Feliciano took a seat in the man's chair as he swallowed the liquid down, hoping it would give him the courage to actually go through with the act. He would admit that he was definitely a coward; if he was sober the teen wouldn’t have the strength to do this. He knew that he’d eventually talk himself out of it like he was doing the past three hours while waiting for Ludwig to come back, but he knew he couldn’t wait anymore. There was no point in waiting for a man who didn’t even care about him in the first place and honestly Feliciano didn’t care about him either, so what was the point? After swallowing a decent amount of the disgusting liquid Feliciano searched the desk drawers for anything of use, stumbling upon a small pocket knife. The teen continued to search for anything else that could possibly make this faster, like a gun, but this was all Ludwig had. Staring down at the weapon, Feliciano broke down into tears again; honestly terrified that he was actually going through with this. ‘ _ What if there’s not a heaven?’ ‘I won’t see my family again’ ‘I don’t want to die’  _ all these thoughts ran through the teens head, but at the end of the day Feliciano knew deep down this was for the best. This was for his own good. 

Without a second thought the Italian picked the knife up, knowing he couldn’t continue to dwell for it would just waste time and he’d pussy out of it the longer he hesitated. Once the blade made contact with his wrist the Italian hissed in pain, pushing down further as he slid the blade across. He didn’t have the courage to look at what he’d done, instead taking another drink from the liquor bottle. The act made him feel sick to his stomach but there was no turning back now; even though the voice in the back of his head was screaming no, he had to keep going. Grabbing the knife again the teen continued to slice new gashes into his wrist, cringing as he felt liquid start to roll down his forearm. When Feliciano finally glanced down at what he had done the Italian couldn’t even recognize that had once been his arm, he was shocked the pain only felt like a paper cut when the damage was far worse. He couldn’t tell if it was due to the alcohol or his body going into shock, but either way Feliciano knew he was losing a lot of blood. ‘ _ I love you Lovino… I’m sorry’  _ Feliciano accepted his fate, laying his head down against the desk as he waited for the blood loss to take him out. 

  
  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of suicide, non con

To say the least, Feliciano was disappointed that he woke up that night. At first the teen was confused, wondering if this was the after life due to the darkness that surrounded him but it wasn’t; The Italian realized to his disappointment he was in Ludwig's bed with his arm bandaged up. As the teen began to wake up further he started to notice that because of the blood loss he was feeling a lot more dizzy then usual, actually he felt like he was going to throw up. Without trying to wake the man next to him up, Feliciano slid out of bed while trying to keep his balance and made his way to the door, ‘ _ please be unlocked.’  _ He definitely would prefer not throwing up on the mans floor and even though he knew Gilbert said he wasn’t aloud out of this room he felt like this would be an aception. To his relief the door was unlocked and he left quickly to make it to the bathroom, kneeling down to the toilet as soon as he entered. Feliciano didn’t expect to survive what he did to himself that night; he didn’t know how he was still here. Maybe god didn’t let him die and now this is punishment for the sin he tried to commit. Once the Italian finished throwing up he flushed the toilet before attempting to stand up, washing his mouth out afterwards with the water from the sink. This is definitely what he wanted to wake up to and now to make matters worse he would have to face Ludwig again in the morning. 

Feliciano paused to look down at the blood soaked bandages wrapped around his arm, the thought of trying again ran through his mind. Now that everyone was asleep it would be easier… maybe this time he could find a gun. As he processed what to do in his mind he heard the door to the bathroom open, causing him to jump at the sudden movement and fear. He expected to see Ludwig, but to his dismay it was the other German… and he didn’t seem pleased at the moment either, plus the look on the man's face made Feliciano come to the confusion he was also intoxicated. The two men kept eye contact for a few seconds, Feliciano being too nervous to say anything to the man. “What are you doing?” Gilbert remained in the doorway, his lips creased into a frown as he stared at the teen. After the little incident he had to witness a few hours ago, Gilbert was not happy with the Italian. If anything he wished the kid did die after having to hear Ludwig cry and freak out the entire night until Gilbert was able to stop the bleeding and make him stable again; If it wasn’t for Ludwig he’d let the Italian bleed out. “I didn’t feel good… I’m going back to the room now.” Feliciano stared at the ground to avoid the other man's gaze as he waited for him to move. The tension in the room was very thick and it was starting to make the smaller male grow more nervous as they stood there. He knew the man hated him, there wasn’t any changing that; but he didn’t think Gilbert would be angry at him for trying to take his own life. “Come with me, I don’t want Ludwig waking up.” Gilbert left the doorway to head towards his room upstairs until he noticed the Italian wasn’t following him, “come on I don’t have all fucking night.” With that the teen finally followed after him, still hesitant. He was confused at first to where Gilbert was taking him until they made it up to his room. Feliciano was surprised the nazi was even letting him up here. When Gilbert gestured to him to sit down on the bed Feliciano did, still avoiding eye contact with the man as he waited for him to say something. 

“I want to make this clear to you. I don’t care if you die, I don’t care if you are miserable here, but I  **do** care about my brother and he really likes you for some reason. If you  **ever** try to do that pathetic shit again I will make your life miserable do you understand.” Gilbert stood right in front of the younger male, pausing to light a cigarette in hopes that would help some of his stress. He wanted so bad to just kill the kid himself. The man just went through hell trying to cover up what he did earlier today and this is what he got in return. It seemed to him that ever since the Italian has been here his stress levels have been through the roof. “Yes sir… I’m sorry” 

“Nein. I don’t want a shitty apology. Do you know how hard it was for me today?! I killed two of my best men because of you then you had the audacity to try and kill yourself like a pussy. I was the one who had to save you, I didn’t even fucking want to but Ludwig was crying over it. If you break his heart again I’ll be breaking your legs.” The nazis voice began to get louder with each word, not caring if Ludwig woke up by this point. He needed to vent somehow and if taking it out on Feliciano helped then that’s what he was going to do, to him the teen was still just some faggot he had here as a pet and that wouldn’t change even if Ludwig saw him as a “boyfriend”. “I-I’m sorry I don’t know what you want me to say, I won’t do it again” The anger that was coming off the older man was making Feliciano start to panic. Gilbert was acting as if this was his fault when it wasn’t. He didn’t ask to be here, this man was the one who brought him here in the first place. 

“Fuck it, I deserve this. You’ve caused me enough stress today, you should at least make up for it. I did save your life after all.” Feliciano felt his heart drop as the other man grabbed his hair to force him on the ground as he sat on the edge of the bed. Without Gilbert even saying what was going to happen the Italian already knew when the man started to unzip his pants, “n-no please don’t please, I’m sorry I didn't mean to cause you any trouble! I’m so sorry!” The teen cried out as the grip he had on his hair tightened, forcing him closer towards the erection in his boxers. He knew fighting the man would only make his situation worse, plus there wasn’t a chance he would win that fight; especially with how dizzy he was from the blood loss. “Shut up. I don’t give a fuck. Cry all you want, either way you are still sucking my dick.” Even this was stressing him out, Gilbert has no clue what his brother saw in this kid; he was fucking annoying to him. After releasing his hard on from his boxers he forced Feliciano's head down onto his length, sighing in relief as he pushed the Italian further down until he reached the back of his throat. 

Feliciano was now crying as he choked on the man's cock, his hands grasped at Gilbert’s pant leg and he tried to pull back up for air. He didn’t understand how a person could be so cruel.. Feliciano hasn’t done anything to this man. He didn’t understand why Gilbert hated him so much. The man started at a slow pace, yanking Feliciano's head up and down by his hair as he finally started to relax. At least the kid was good for one thing, and Ludwig didn’t have to know; if Feliciano was going to stay here forever he could just use him as a sex toy when Ludwig wasn’t around. “That’s it~ keep sucking faggot” the albino moaned as the Italian only cried harder around his length. As the older man started to rut his hips up into the teens mouth he started to gag, clinging onto Gilbert’s leg harder as he face fucked him. Feliciano could tell the man was close to cumming when he felt him stiffen up and the Italian tried to prepare himself for it, squeezing his eyes shut. A few moments later Gilbert was gripping the boy's hair tighter as he came down his throat, groaning rather loudly as he did, “swallow all of it. I don’t want you making a mess” the nazi kept him on his cock and waited for the teen to swallow all of his cum before he let go. 

Once Feliciano was released he didn’t have the energy to stand up, instead he remained on the floor crying softly to himself. He was disgusted that Gilbert would even do that to him right now; the man was heartless. “You poor thing~” Gilbert laughed at the boy as he tucked his dick back in his pants before standing up, giving the teen a light kick before going to light another cigarette. Feliciano didn’t want to be a hypocrite but he was starting to want Ludwig again, the events from today were finally getting to him; he was on the verge of a breakdown and he didn’t want to do that infront of Gilbert. He knew trying to stand up wasn’t going to be an option, he felt weak still and now he felt sicker than before. “I-I can’t stand up, I don’t feel good” Feliciano didn't want to ask the man for help but he had no other choice right now. It was either that or stay here and Feliciano would rather die than be by this man for a second longer. 

“Let me finish my cigarette and I’ll take you back down... You really are pathetic you know that? You shouldn’t be a man. You’re just a little whiny bitch.” Gilbert took another hit off his cigarette as he watched the boy, amused by the little show he was getting. Feliciano only ignored the man, trying to stop the crying as he wiped his tears. “Why won’t you just kill me? Please? I can’t do this anymore” 

“Because Ludwig loves you and I love my little brother. If you make him happy you’re staying here so get over it.” Gilbert put his cigarette out before standing up. He picked the teen up in his arms and headed back downstairs towards the main hallway, trying to keep quiet to avoid waking Ludwig. “If you say a word to him about this I’ll make you wish you were dead.” He sat Feliciano down in front of the door, leaving the Italian behind. Feliciano took in a shaky breath, trying to compose himself before entering the room. Quietly he entered back into Ludwigs room, glad to see the man was still asleep as he stumbled over towards the bed. As soon as he laid down and got under the covers the red head began to cry again, curling in on himself as he did. He’s never been so miserable in his life, and to think this could have worked out. Feliciano couldn’t believe he had been so delusional. He hated Gilbert, he hated Ludwig, he hated himself. ‘ _ Please god, do something, just help me get away from here please’  _ Feliciano prayed even though it seemed like his prayers were going unanswered. Maybe there was no god… maybe he was just screwed. 

  
  
  


  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: none 
> 
> *nsfw and fluff will finally be in the next chapter!

The next morning had been awkward just how Feliciano expected it to be. For once the Italian wasn’t in a talkative mood and Ludwig didn’t seem to know how to make the teen feel any better when he was hurting as well. Never did the German expect Feliciano to try and take his own life and he felt like he was the one to blame for it. The man had even made the teen breakfast in bed and Feliciano just said he wasn’t hungry.. it was starting to make Ludwig feel worse to know there was no way he could help. Although he wasn’t a therapist and didn’t know much about mental issues, He knew Gilbert had a degree in it. Perhaps if he asked the man he would try to talk to Feliciano for him… Ludwig knew his brother hated the kid but maybe he could bribe him with money or something. He had to do at least something to prevent Feliciano from trying this again, it destroyed the blond when he found the Italian like that. 

“Bruder?” Ludwig knocked on the other nazis office door before entering, standing in the doorway as he watched Gilbert finish whatever phone call he was on. “Ja?” Gilbert spoke once he ended the call, leaning back in his chair as he lit a cigarette. “Could you talk to Feliciano and see what’s wrong with him? I just know you are better at that then I am and I know you hate him, so I could pay you for this or do your work” Ludwigs eyes remained on the floor as he laid out his idea, praying to god that his brother would accept. This was the last option he had and if Gilbert was going to be too stubborn to help then he was fucked. “Why what’s wrong with him?” Gilbert rolled his eyes as he listened to the younger male talk, annoyed that the Italian was still causing him problems. “He’s depressed Gilbert, he tried to fucking kill himself are you stupid? Please just do this for me, I don’t know what to do” The albino listened to his brother plead as he got more and more aggravated by the second, “fine, fuck. I’ll talk to him, I don’t need your money or anything, just go to work and I’ll take care of him today.” Gilbert watched as the blonds eyes finally lit up and for once the man held a small smile on his face, “thank you so much bruder, just keep an eye on him okay? He hasn’t been eating either. I'm worried about him.” “Ja ja, go before I change my mind.” With that Ludwig nodded, leaving his brother's office and went back to his room to check on Feliciano one more time. 

The teen was exactly where he left him on the bed, not that he was surprised by that but it surely made the man sad to see. “Feli, I have to go for a few hours. How are you feeling?” Ludwig stepped closer to sit on the edge of the bed next to the younger man, hoping to see that Feliciano was willing to talk to him now. “Fine” Feliciano remained under the covers, trying his best not to cry anymore; it seemed like that’s all the boy had been doing this morning and it was starting to make the redhead physically ill. “Okay… well I love you. Gilbert is going to be watching you okay? I’m sorry you don’t feel good” Ludwig started at him for a few more moments, wishing so badly that Feliciano would at least hug him or something; but instead the teen remained hidden under the blankets. After realizing he wasn’t going to get a response Ludwig stood up and left the room, locking it behind him before leaving for work. He just wanted today to be fast so he could get back to Feliciano and hopefully whatever Gilbert talks to him about helps. Though that’s far from what Feliciano was thinking; after the blond mentioned his brother was the one who was going to be with him today he almost threw up. Feliciano didn’t even want to set eyes on that mad after what he had done to him last night. Now the teen laid in bed terrified rather than depressed, waiting for any sounds that indicated movement outside the door. He prayed that Gilbert would just leave him alone, the two didn’t like each other so obviously it would just be out of the way for the man to check on him. Feliciano just knew he couldn’t handle another assault from the older man; mentally or physically. Honestly the Italian had thought long and hard about it and maybe killing the nazi wasn’t a bad idea…. Feliciano didn’t condone violence at all, but this was for his own survival. 

The sound of keys jingling was enough to make the Italian alert; sitting quickly up in the bed as the door opened. Gilbert entered the room, looking more irritated than usual and he quickly flipped the light on as his gaze settled towards the smaller male, “didn’t we have this talk last night? What the fuck is the problem now?” Feliciano flinched as the man sat down on the bed closer then he wanted, making the Italian scoot back further. “You’re the problem! G-Get away from me.” The Italian stared at the man, getting confused as Gilbert started to laugh. “Listen. You are in  **my** house. I can do whatever I want, I could kill you right now if I wanted to. But unfortunately Ludwig loves you and I’d do anything for his happiness so at least act like you are fucking normal. For everyone’s sake. I can’t keep having Ludwig come to me sad that you are upset, so stop being a little bitch.” Gilbert stood up once he finished his rant, “now come on, you have to eat something today.” To be honest, Feliciano was starting to have enough of this. He absolutely despised the man and in reality he didn’t love Ludwig, he just wanted to go home.. and maybe he had a chance today. “Okay” Feliciano sighed as he followed the other man into the kitchen only to sit down at the table and watch as Gilbert made food. The room was silent as the nazi cooked, leaning Feliciano alone with his thoughts as he tried to think of a plan. 

“Feliciano, I know you hate me. I’m not too fond of you either… but my brother really likes you. We can try to make this work if that’s going to make you feel better. I get that I’ve been an asshole, truthfully I’ve been stressed.” Gilbert spoke as he cooked, glancing back over at the Italian every now and again. This time he couldn’t help but notice the teen staring at one of the kitchen knives on the counter, “you really think you can stab me? Is that the plan?” The nazi stopped what he was doing and turned around completely to face the boy who looked shocked. Gilbert didn’t expect the Italian to have it in him but apparently he was wrong. “N-No… I-“ “Do it then. Go ahead” Feliciano stared at the man as he picked the knife up and walked towards him. Immediately Feli got out of the chair to keep his distance, scared that the nazi would stab him instead, “I don’t want to.” Gilbert didn’t look amused at all as he backed the Italian up against the wall until the two were inches apart, staring straight into the teens eyes, “well it sure looked like you did. I’m not fucking stupid.” 

Finally Feliciano broke down in tears once again; he couldn’t help it with how everything was going, but his reaction only seemed to upset the albino further. “I-I didn’t say you were, I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me” The Italian sobbed out, crying into his hands as the man stood there for a moment and stared at him. In a split second the knife was plunged into the wall next to the teens head causing Feliciano to almost scream in surprise, looking up at the angry look on Gilbert’s face. “You know I was trying so fucking hard to like you. To make this fucking work, but you are such a fucking pussy.” 

“Please-“ “Nein! Fuck you!” Feliciano couldn’t help but cower as the man's voice got louder until he was practically yelling. The teen tried to think of a way to escape this but nothing seemed like a good plan, Feliciano was terrified. He could hear Gilbert still yelling at him, but none of the words were processing in his brain. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t want to do this anymore, please stop, please” Feliciano felt his heart tighten with all the emotions running through him and it felt like the teen was about to have a heart attack. “I won’t be sad anymore, I p-promise. Please just stop” Gilbert’s anger slowly started to go down as he watched the boy start to hyperventilate, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel bad; of course he’s seen people at the camps have mental breakdowns every so often but this was just depressing to see…. maybe he was too harsh for once. “Hey…Feliciano look at me” The man brought his voice down, moving closer to cup the boy's cheek in his hand. Truthfully the only reason he despised the other male was because he was gay, but Gilbert only felt that way about him because he hated himself for the same reason. The man had always had feelings towards other men, but he’s kept it a secret for twenty years; he thought that maybe suppressing his emotions and killing others would be a cure. Though seeing Feliciano like this only made him start to feel bad for what he was doing. “I don't like saying this but I’m sorry. Work has been stressful then I have to come home everyday to whatever bullshit is happening in this house and I’ve been on edge.” 

That at least seemed to calm the Italian down a little bit, he didn’t seem to be freaking out as much. Though Gilbert knew he couldn’t act like he was a huge push over either, he still was going to keep all his feelings locked up until he died… but maybe being a little nicer to the kid would fix things. “Okay..” Feliciano wiped his tears; he didn’t understand why the man had a sudden change of heart but he wasn’t going to question it. “Do you maybe want a shot or something? I know I need a drink” Gilbert tried to force a smile as he pulled away from the other, making his way to the liquor cabinet to pull out a bottle of rum. “And you don’t have to like me, but at least give Ludwig a chance okay? He’s a good kid.”

  
  
  



End file.
